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Tuesday, June 16, 2009


...just as soon as i find a way out of this. it's actually almost poetically ironic, the fact that my work has so much to do with sunlight. i'm perpetually evanescing. i've been a waning crescent ever since i started here. isn't 17 months a little long to be waiting for the next full moon?

okay so maybe i occasionally shine brightly enough to cast a shadow or two. that's still not the way things are supposed to be. i realize a million things aren't the way they're supposed to be, but honestly, i don't worry much (if at all) about the ones that can't be changed.

i am usually less than half myself. it doesn't make sense to live this way. but the way out will require more of me, and... sorry to be a wuss, but it's an intimidating road.

something must be done, and i must be the one to do it. the amount of hope one has in the 'it' ever being done is inversely proportional to how well one knows me... which leaves me very discouraged. i'm about as hopeful of my own return as you would be if someone left you with a 'brb' on your screen for 17 months. maybe the more i talk about it, the more driven i'll be to act about it.

oh who am i fooling.