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Friday, May 11, 2007

10x as me

i'm having one of those evenings where everything is 10x as real, and my critical filters are all failing. like light-bulbs dying. and then you have to break out all the candles, and for some reason they make you feel a certain way, even though they're just little pieces of string burning wax.

i'm vulnerable to beauty, to the bliss of being alone and lonely, to whatever desire or thought that presents itself to me. it's a rare opportunity for me when i can stop thinking, and just feel... when i can stop analyzing what's happened, stop preparing for what's going to happen, and just be present. i almost never choose these moments. they pick me up and toss me wherever, like i'm a little sailboat in a storm that has a purpose behind its chaos.

i'm 10x as me in these moments.