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Monday, April 16, 2007

congradulations

from: Rachel Micu
to: Isaiah Micu


Isaiah,

Thanks for the note. It's nice to know for sure that you made it back safely. I am sorry about your laundry. Is it possible that it could turn up? Maybe you left it at Vanguard instead of in Bakersfield? If not, I'll budget for some new clothes for you. You only have to get through a few more weeks so maybe you can make it on what you have until you some home for the summer? If not let me know. I don't know if that shoe money is quite enough to cover what you need. I mean, do you have undies and stuff?

Your grandma called last night to ask when you were graduating. She was excited about going to your graduation. Dad had a heck of a time explaining that you weren't participating in the ceremony. Grandma loves pomp and circumstance so much that it just wasn't computing for her. I don't mean to be base, but you might consider an informal BBQ over here to celebrate the occasion because I know all the aunts, uncles, and grandparents would show their usual generosity. The truth is, they would love to have that opportunity and I wouldn't mind giving it to them. I hope you can receive that comment in the way it is meant and aren't offended.

Tell your friend Ecclesia that it was our pleasure to have her here and she is welcome any time. I only wish we had a suitable guest room for your friends.

Okay hon. That's all for now. I'm proud of you and pray for you regularly.

Mumsy


from: Isaiah Micu
to: Rachel Micu

Mom,

i've just received a $144 paycheck. some of it is already spent, but i think the shoe money plus the leftovers from this check will be enough for now. i'll let you know. =)

i'm not willing to participate in any event, formal or informal, that celebrates everything i could have accomplished, but didn't. if the hard work of other students merits the applause of the VU community and the congratulations of family/friends, then i have just barely earned my diploma, and nothing more than that. i realize that most of the family doesn't know how hard i haven't worked, and that's just something i'll have to deal with.

academically, socially, and spiritually, i consider these last three years a gift; i have merely received it. if there's anything to celebrate, it's all of the generosity that's made it possible for me to live this blessed life. congratulations to anyone who didn't give up on me; they are to be applauded.

i will make sure to thank each person from whom i have received grace. this will mostly be done in private, so that the focus is on those being thanked, rather than on the person doing the thanking. if anyone would like to congratulate me, they are welcome to do so in private. i will do my best to be courteous.

thanks Mom. =)

Love,
isaiah

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

oh

i think i'm having trouble accepting that i'm not the person i expected myself to be.

all this semester, i've been getting used to it, bit by bit. i started getting used to my laziness; my conscience kept poking me, but somehow i shrugged it off, and thought of my situation as 'the way things are.'

and now i realize how far gone i am. it's scary. i don't like it. all the times my conscience called and left a message (i'm mostly away from my phone these days), those messages all burst out of the box i was keeping them in, and piled on top of me, last night & today. i couldn't handle it.

so really i have two choices set before me, now. i have to choose whether or not to accept who i am, and i have to choose whether to change it or not.

nap first.

Monday, April 09, 2007

guest blogger: identity thief

greetings to all of you who call isjami your friend.

i need to start by saying that i'm very fortunate to be here. in my line of work, i can't be very choosy; circumstances are such that i have to take whatever opportunities present themselves. it just so happens that i've stumbled upon the life of quite a passionate person, and that is always a pleasant surprise for me, as this type is becoming more and more scarce.

please forgive the abruptness of my introduction. i realize none of you expected his identity to be stolen, but surely you can understand my situation? i can't exactly make an appointment. it has to be a subtle, gradual project, especially with these introspective types... always examining themselves to make sure everything's in order. it's such a pain getting in. but it was certainly worth it! you all are so interesting, so trusting, so forgiving, so generous, so fun, so enjoyable... i almost feel sorry for him, losing all of this.

that's how it goes, i suppose. he should've kept a closer eye on himself, should've asked for help earlier on. it's too late now. what is it, four weeks until graduation? =D sorry to brag, but i just have such good timing! you have to wait until it's just about too late to turn back, but still early enough to drag everything out. this is that time: by the end of the semester, i will have established myself firmly enough so as to be irredeemable, and yet four weeks is plenty of time for me to suck the last few drops of life out of him. that's why you sieze your victim while his heart is still beating. it makes things so much easier.

it really is a blessed life. intriguing relationships, all of them, and so much to learn by just observing everything. i hardly have to do any work at all! (that's my whole life-goal, of course, which makes it a necessity, but it's particularly simple in this case. he practically welcomed me with open arms.) i have good food, a comfy bed, some interesting classes, hobbies to enjoy... but most importantly, people who love me unconditionally. that's how parasites thrive, by the way. i feel safe sharing the secret with you, because i know you can't hurt me. after all, i'm your friend now, and you could never betray him. aren't i despicable? =)

life's not without it's difficulties, though, even for me. there's still this last shred of conscience that stubbornly clings to life, as if it has some hope to hold on to. what is it about you humans that makes you so prone to denial? do you have no grasp of reality? perhaps the epistemological faculties with which God has gifted you are inadequate to the task of living to the full. that's fine by me, of course, but i still have to wonder: why do you resist the inevitable? why do you insist on being what you are not, especially when you have only arrived at where you are by your own foolish decisions?

well. life's difficulties, and life's limitations... sleep is calling this body away, and i'm not sure the heart-mind can last much longer under this stress, either. quite understandable. identity theft is no trivial experience, no mild headache that one can ignore. not even isaiah, as iron-clad as he is, with his so-called 'free will.' a truly strong-willed person would have resisted me, instead of inviting me to dinner.

such is the nature of folly, and for all his natural talents and commitments and passions, he is truly a fool.

well. i hope to get to know all of you better in the future. i look forward to taking advantage of the grace which God pours out through people like you, and yes, i know you'll support him no matter what. that's what makes me so happy about my new home! i have security now, knowing he hasn't the power to kick me out. and you certainly can't do anything, except love him-- me, really-- without regard for what he does or who he becomes.

Love is a wonderful thing.