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Thursday, March 31, 2005

oh my gosh


oh yeah, and phil wickham is amazing, too...

...and i want his vocal chords. go over there right now, and get me his vocal chords. i'll be here in my dorm, removing mine. if anyone wants them, they'll be in the blue tupperware on the closet shelf.

stay tuned for downloads. (shhhhh!)

Wednesday, March 30, 2005


and by 'update,' i mean 'webcam.'


link at top right. oh, and by the way, check this one out (rough draft/concept only, of course...)

oh, and while we're on the subject of Isjamic literature, here's a reminder for Evan and whoever else that FDC is awesome.


this is actually a letter i wrote to Llaura about LDYR, which is a shorter camp that goes on at Daybreak, but it's still relevant and cool. Unfortunately, their website is down right now. Foofy. check back later, I guess, or contact me somehow if you want info.

Grosse Pointe Blank

"It's like I was sucked up into the cosmos..."

"It's a swift spiritual kick to the head that alters your reality forever."

Hannah... that's where KLOVE got the quotes. It stars John Cusack. Go tell Ug you want to watch it.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005


romance. c'mon, stay with me, this isn't going to be deeply theological, or extensively argumentative, or disgustingly mushy.

you love romance. admit it.

i lied. i'm wearing these contacts that have the word THEOLOGY burned into them. sorry. i can't keep Him out, i guess.

romance stirs you, or it has stirred you in some way at some time. it's when you get home from school and the whole house is dark and quiet, but it's not silent or empty. there's smooth jazz coming from somewhere, and there's someone in your house, but you're not scared, you're excited. you're excited like when you get a letter in the mail that's from that one guy you have never had the courage to talk to.

i can't do this. sorry. what a stupid post.

too many interruptions.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

she's you, too

once again... hear it as it was meant to sound. =)

vs 1

my fingertips are numb from my grip
as I try to hold on, drawing you in
to that place in my dreams
where everything is perfect,
quietly perfect

when we dream the same
and all hope is lost
I'm feeling, not knowing, if I am asleep
all is real, just like last night, when I woke up
and hoped it would be real


now though I see
your face with such clarity
so perfect and true in every sense
in all my life I never thought
you had been so close all along
and nothing I've done deserves what I don't have
but I know she's you, now you're making it all that's left

vs 2

sweat pours down, my heart is racing, as I learn, when I come
back, I know it could be, so desperately
longing to go back to where I can feel I'm at
peace, knowing that life is perfect
quietly perfect, when we dream the same
I weep for a life that must wait for tomorrow
inspired by love and desire to give it away
I realize and see that it's real


these blessings I see, and I long to reach
I'm stretching, pushing, touching, I feel too
close to know how much further till the end
o I wait patiently, so I wait patiently, wait until then
wait until when?

my life is perfect now


now that I see your face staring back at me
stealing my breath, overwhelming my every sense
in all my life I never thought we would be so
close in the end, but all I depended on
led me to you, and brought you to me,
and showed us what we could be
now we're making it all that's left

my fingertips are numb from my grip as I try to hold on...

[download the song or the chords]

Saturday, March 26, 2005

from the archives

10. if i were a book, would i be softcover or hardcover? would my pages be dog-eared? would i be found on a coffee-table, on the shelf, under the bed, next to the reading lamp, or in your hands?

"You'd be hardback, very used but ageless. Like a dictionary or Bible. Yea, you'd be some sort of book that everyone would have a copy of for reference but only the smart/wise/cool ppl would read for enjoyment. Everyone would respect what you say, the 'Book of Isjami' would end arguments." - Hannah

I have decided...


*long drumroll*

*probably way too long*

*in fact, forget it ever happened*

...to write the book of Isjami.


more on this, tonight at 10.

'no loafing' got me here

i got a fortune the other day that said, "You are careful and systematic. 11 18 22 32 40, 8"

i laughed at it. "yeah, whatever, silly fortune. you don't mean anything to anyone. you just think you do." i think it cried inside.

anyway, about 42 seconds later, i realized i had folded the fortune into precise 8ths, without thinking.

the fortune said, "gotcha."

~ the end ~

rock, bottom, up

yes indeed, the title of my new poem, and as an added bonus extra special feature, i'm going to explain it. a little.

i wrote it from the bottom, up. (but that's not the reason it's called "rock, bottom, up")



yeah. i wrote the last line first, the second to last line second, the third to last line third, and so on. check it out. top right, second down.

shallow and wide

ahh, the old me again. lately i've been somewhat shallow, in my opinion. i don't mean i've been materialistic or superficial... i've just been shallow. like a puddle. that's what i am. a puddle. i told Brandy-poo i was flat like old soda, wrinkly like last night's balloons. puddle is better. it's more convicting.

puddles don't move. they just sit there. they like to sit there and watch people watch themselves. they like it when the rain makes little ripples.

puddles don't provide water for anyone, except maybe stray dogs. puddles don't refresh anyone; they're lukewarm, alot of the time. puddles don't get anyone clean; they're often muddy, or they have cigarette butts and discarded gum.

hey, know what? people like to splash around in puddles. it's fun. i like it when people like to splash in me, but i'd rather they go swimming. they should go swimming. know how fun swimming is?

instead they splash, and here i sit, singing "she's you" and enjoying the return of the Faith-full. i don't flow like them. as if they were waterfalls, children bathe in them, and shiver or shrivel when the flow moves on, when the tide goes out, when the rain stops. i can't go where they go. i would only become mud.

there's no flow. only little ripples.

i am a puddle.


Something happened just now that has never happened before. I wanted to delete all my blogs, mice bases, xangas, websites, and screen names, and disappear from the internet entirely... except for my gmail address.

I don't know why.

Friday, March 25, 2005


my roomfriend says I look 8 years old. =( I told that big bully to stop teasing me.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

like woah


Cornelia -> #7, Rachel -> twins.

(and by "->", I mean "is pregnant with")

(thanks for the new phrase, Scarfnee!)

our song

a huge thank you to all who commented on it. Andrew is flattered, I am still stubbornly refusing to accept compliments I believe are not true, and both of us are happy that people liked the rough rough draft. we pretty much finished it up on Sunday. I'll upload the chord sheet here in a sec, and hopefully we'll record it soon.

if you haven't heard it, it's linked under "posts of the months" as "she's you." =)

Davida said,

"hey....i was wanting to leave a comment on your blog, but it opened a
window that said it could not find the blog requested or some such.
anywho, just wanted to say that i really like both the words and music
to the song you posted. you have a great voice and talent....a real
gift. i know you've mentioned before that you don't like
comliments....but you should receive it because it is true. also, God
is the One who gave you the voice and talent and all. plus when He
gives us gifts they aren't just for us...they are to serve and bless
each other. like with this song....you served your friend by writing
it and blessed those who hear you singing it. :) it is good how it

all the best"

Kimi said,

"(I don't remember my username and password...)
*sniff* *tear* This song is sooo beautiful!! *keeps playing it over and over again*"

Kevin said,

"Dude, that song rocks!!! When you perfect it (get rid of the few messed up words), I want to download it to my computer.By the way, there's a song I have that I would like for you to host on your amoeba.googoogaga address, if you wouldn't mind, so I can play it on my blog. I'll email the song to you."

Bryan Dillon said,


Dude, I just listened to that song...wow! Is that you singing?

Ok...I'm telling you now I want that song. I tried to steal it...but
couldn't lol! Anyway, props to you guys...it rocks..

*goes to listen*"

Kimi also said,

"Oh, my goodness! It was awesome...Today at church, I was humming a song and I couldn't figure out what it was. I finally realized it was "She's You". I just thought I'd let you know. :o)"

Danny said,

"::sigh:: Ijjy, Ijjy, Ijjy. . .See, this is what I (and others) have been telling you all along.It actually moves me to hear you sing.I would write more, but my time is up. Catch me on AIM, if you can."

Scarfnee said,

"that song was wonderous. i really like it..."

Monday, March 21, 2005


i never imagined myself running back home with demons of my own blood nipping at my heels

Friday, March 18, 2005


5 freakin' a.m. on the phone with Brandibou... worship practice... boondock saints... tired... homework... homework... homework... homework... homework... homework... homework...

need to finish that song.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

this week, the trend

Evan, Caleb, Josh, Brandon, Eli, Jesse, and Hannah all participated in this day... and it ruled.

  • ninja chicken, ribs, fresh rice, fresh rolls, buttered veggies, and iced tea... all contrived by my parents. Josh said, "when your mom and dad die, all of heaven's cooks are going to lose their jobs." i agree
  • sparring... wow... invented the cheetah style. it was FUN TIMES A MILLION!!!
  • watched Gladiator at Ug's
  • gummy bears, popcorn, Martinelli's, cheeto puffs, pudding, and raspberry water, at Ug's

about eight hours of non-stop funtime.

my only complaints this week have to do with either me, or people who are hundreds of miles away. =) somebody remind me to thank God for these blessings, I might forget.

;) yeah right.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

i want to give you my world

there is a Love that can't be imagined
it comes from the Father of Lights to my soul
it overcomes the darkness that i used to hide in
it covers me, it makes me whole

i want to give You my world
to reveal all i am, and all i've become
i want to give you my world
to surrender my life, and all that is in me to You

there is a peace that can't be contained
it burrows its way to the depths of my soul
it changes my life, my entire being
it covers me, it makes me whole

ninety and ten

response #2 to that question, "how's life?"

"90% of my life is AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL!!! The other 10% is the deepest, darkest, most tangled, depressing mess I've ever seen, and in times like these I have to remember not to treat that 10% like it's the 90%."

  • hanging with Katie and my family
  • getting ready for worship practice on Thursday
  • talking with awesome friends
    • Caleb
    • Tim
    • Brandibou (Brandon)
    • Katie
    • Ug
  • having dinner with family
  • playing flute
  • singing
  • cleaning

by the way, a friend of mine recently had a dream where I was taking out the trash... and I had hair like Hercules (from the TV show, actor Kevin Sorbo). I was inspired.

g'night all.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

triple whammy

day 3 of spring break -> amazing
  • eating my favorite, long-lost, self-cooked meal... twice
  • wearing the Cloak again
  • being with Katie
  • being with all other friends, old and new
  • making plans and dreaming dreams
  • beating Eli at Soul Calibur II
  • praying
  • being at Pat's house
  • talking with Brandibou
  • hearing from Llaura
  • listening to my newest CD
  • planning to blog deep
  • talking about God
  • hanging out with my three youngest siblings
  • watching Gabriel's computer skills improve (he'll be 1337 one day...)
  • getting comments from Danny
  • (btw Danny, you've got a long and annoying response coming to your quiz answers)
  • =)
  • seeing that I have 16 comments to reply to

Isaiah out. whoever you are, no matter who you are: ask me to prove that I Love you. I'll do my best...

Sunday, March 13, 2005

quietly perfect

it feels like I should have pages to write, but all I have is highlights...
  • waking up naturally, one minute before my annoying alarm
  • leading worship again (it was FUN)
  • finally meeting Katie
  • finally levying
  • finally hanging out with Jenihe and co.
  • watching Napoleon Dynamite again (watched it with family, including 'rents)
  • eating delicious homecooked meals
  • re-connecting with old friends

new lyrics, by the way... sorry you can't hear them yet. I haven't been able to yet, either, so don't feel jealous. ;) hope you like.

she's you

messed, but blessed

people sometimes ask me, "how's life?" and that's one of my more common answers.

things I've enjoyed so far, since Friday:

  • nailing that essay in world civ
  • adding music to the 2nd verse and bridge Andrew sent me
  • singing for about 5 and a half hours with Andrew (used to lead worship)
  • getting home to my uncle/aunt's house and finding:
    • "Welcome home, Isaiah. See you later tonight! Love, Ug and Ag"
    • (that's "Uncle Greg" and "Aunt Grace")
    • my room all ready for me
  • seeing my family again...
    • my little bros. got up from their video games to give me hugs... *sniffle*
  • going to the renaissance faire
  • beating my bro at Soul Calibur II (20 to 7)
  • looking forward to church
  • sparring with family
  • hanging with Evan
  • putting Gabriel on my shoulders
  • picking Leah up
  • eating GOOD FOOD
  • snacking, alot

=) yeah, this is since yesterday. only thing missing is some really deep post about life, love, ad other mysteries. I guess those posts are forthcoming. I kinda promised them to people over in micebase land...

hey you people who only read the first post, stop that! even if I have to ask you to skip the first post to read the rest, it's cool that way, because you'll still read most of the stuff eventually. I promise, I'm not as boring as I say I am. ;)

Saturday, March 12, 2005

a quickie

comments are working. trip up was awesome. sang almost the entire way. sad about not being able to go on the field trip tomorrow. thanks for comments!

Thursday, March 10, 2005

she's you

EDIT: Fare thee well, all... I'm either leaving you, or coming to see you. If you're one of the former, I'll see you after spring break... don't get too crazy. If you're one of the latter, watch out! ;)
-- Posted by Isjami at 10:14 a.m., 3/11/05

I really want to save this until it's been perfected... I mean, c'mon. This is like the roughest rough draft you've ever seen heard. I miss like four words! (and let's not mention, out loud anyway, the fact that the tube of oiled glass had some crusty stuff on the inside tonight)

Here's the story: King Andrew called me and wanted to hang out, so I went, and he seriously is living like a king, and only paying $650/mo. for it (including utilities). So we went up to his room and listened to some music, and then he was showing me some of his poetry.

The first one he showed me, I was like... "I dunno, dude. It'd be cool to discover the song behind that one, though." He's been saying weird stuff like, "Isaiah, one of these days you need to come over, read my poetry, and make my stuff into music."

mm-hm. sure thing. i'll just look at his poem, open my mouth and wooooop...! out will come music.


So then I looked at this other one he wrote...

my fingertips are numb from my grip
as i try to hold on, drawing you in
to that place in my dreams
where everything is perfect,
quietly perfect

when we dream the same
and all hope is lost
I'm feeling, not knowing, if I am sleeping
all is real, just like last night, when I woke up
and hoped it would be real

now though I see
your face with such clarity
so perfect and true in every sense
in all my life I never thought
you had been so close all along
and nothing I've done deserves what I don't have
but I know she's you, now you're making it all that's left

...and I just kept staring at it, reading it in my mind, and finally after a long silence Andrew asked, "Well whaddya think?"

"...I think there's a rhythm..."


"Take out your guitar. Give me something, uhhh... E."


"No, too high. Something lower."


"Much better." I was singing it in my head at this point. "...now add a natural 7th."


"Yeaaaahhhh... nice. Okay, now..."

~ an hour and a half later ~

"Hey, Andrew."


"This song is friggin' awesome."

My goal here is to show how awesome the SONG is. It's more of a conceptual thing than a literal thing. You gotta try to hear the song the way it was meant to sound. =) Maybe Garrett will try it out with me when I get back.

Andrew decided to call it [this post's title]. Getting back to the whole "rough draft" idea, though: the only two ways for me to enjoy this is 1) to sing along, or 2) to smile and maybe chuckle when I lose track of the words. Gimme a break, we just wrote this thing tonight, and guess what else: Andrew just sent me another verse, and a bridge.

It's been a good day. Time to reply to comments. A little orientation for you: Normally I use different colors to designate different commenters of my blog. In this post, I won't be doing that... but you will see me giving references so that you can know what people were commenting about. (Hint: if you let your mouse rest over a link without clicking it, it will probably tell you where it leads. Most of these links all lead to the same place: my micebase.)

Ready, one and set and go.

Jeremy said (about this),

"and thus, the first comment is made."

And wow, what a substantial and interesting one it is, too. =P

(he's my second cousin, I can make fun of him all I want... Plus he's half-Filipino, so I know he can take it)

Melissa said (about this),

"aww, look you're making more friends :)"

*sniffle* I never would have thought that would happen... not before the Break, anyway.

Keith said (about this),

"I see you gave in. Welcome to the dark side......."

*sigh* yes, I realized it was a good opportunity to dive into community. I'm pretty sure it doesn't involve hate or anger or any of those other things Yoda mentioned.

Katie said (about this),

"now you've got a blogger, xanga, and myspace! crazy! wait.... so do i... haha. cool pic. i like it!"

=D crazy indeed. thanks, btw. I'm working on one for you.

Heather said (about this),

"Thanks for the add, Isaiah. :)"

Welks... I'll add you any day, though that prolly doesn't mean much to you, since it only takes once. I could always delete and add again. =P =)

Jay said (about this),

"and thus isaiah came to be and it was good cept when he rolled a higher die then jay : ("

LoL for the first time in my life, I DMed a d&d game... and you played the monk. I can't believe you're gone now. =( get that starter pack soon, so we can move on to slaughtering goblins by the dozens and defeating your reflection.

Melissa said (about this),

"you really should get on Deviant Art for all the photoshopping you do. It's fun stuff!"

I actually did sign up the other day, I just haven't uploaded, yet. I did go to yours, though, and really liked your stuff. =)

The Other Jeremy said (about this),

"I'll be a friend"

*is touched* you 3rd floor brother you.

Katie said,

"miss you... 4 more days! meet you very soon... Amin mela lle."

ar' amin, lle. It's 4:12 a.m. on the 11th of March, and I'll see you Sunday for sure. =)

Elizabeth said,

"Thank you for all of your comments."

You're welcome! More where those came from... keep blogging. Lemme know what you think of the pic of you I photoshopped.

Rheanna said,

"HEY! hows colledge"

college = total sweetness. I couldn't ask for a more awesome environment. now if only I could respond to God's blessings with obedience as well as gratitude... I'll post more about college sometime this semester. (you can always do a search at the top, though)

"hope to meet (isaiah) ? lol well i hope to meet you sometime , i met u at morro but never really talked to you lol"

oh hey, that's right, you were there, huh? I thought it was sad how there were kind of two people groups at Morro. I'll prolly see you when we go on the chemistry field trip. =)

Jenihe said,

"You're "On" myspace, but not on aim or msn. turdie. Ttyl."


*adds 'turdie' to his vocabulary Favorites folder*

"Thanks for the comment; I thought you'd be able to identify with what I was saying, thanks for the reassurance. I didn't used to be a hug person, but just as your said, a lot has changed. I'd love a hug. Ttyl."

I hear you. I was the same way, and am the same way now. I kinda wonder what other stuff we have in common besides hugs and crying... ;)

Katie said,

"you're on myspace messenger, you were on AIM for about 1 min. but now you're gone!! i'll message you on the myspace thingie. TOMORROW NIGHT!!! Cormamin lindua ele lle. love you =)"

you sound familiar, do I know you from somewhere? His Kingdom, perhaps?!

Elen sila lumenn omentilmo, lirimaeramin.

Melissa said (about this),

"you have such gorgeous eyes, why do you hide them behind those sunglasses all the time? "


well, actually, 'gorgeous' is a shade of brown, everybody. you learn something new every day. I don't see why brown eyes should not be hidden...

actually, I get the shades question all the time, and here are a few good answers: 1) they're like a necklace or watch or favorite shirt or only jacket. 2) I am far more comfortable in the dark. 3) people tend to avoid noticing me when I wear them (in other words, I can discourage conversation when I'm busy, or encourage it when I wish, by taking them off). 4) no one knows where I'm looking, and I like being mysterious. ;)

Jenihe said (about this),

"I think this is one of my favorite pictures. The hidden smile just reminds me of you "

=) I would be very interested in your explanation of how that works... the reminding part. thanks for the comment.

Heather said (about this),

"Very much so, yes."

sweet. sometimes I feel like I'm losing my LotR-ness, especially now that the cloaks are hibernating (or resting on foreign shoulders), but you've given me hope. *tear*

Jeremy said (about this),

"i still find it erratically odd that you even fear meeting relatives...YOU FOOL!on another note, you don't seem to have changed much to me. granted our gatherings are seldom in nature and whatnot... whatever..."

the other half-Filipino strikes again. and dares to call me fool. *scoff* I dislike meeting relatives because they tend to be very polite, which makes me very uncomfortable. I feel better around people closer to my age, closer to my culture, closer to my world.

An anymouse said,

". . . ...............psst."

Well now. I assume you're one of the lady-types from the micebase universe. If that's so, I'll let this one slide, but from now on, know this: anymice are strictly prohibited. Anonymous posting is enabled so that people can choose to simply type their first names, rather than signing up for Blogger if they do not wish to do so.

Hmm... how does one reply to "psst"? how about: "who's there?"

Manda said,

"*sets a mouse trap* bwahahaha *evil grin*"

LoL good to know that someone knows the rules, and somehow enjoys the enforcing of them. =D

Hannah said,

"Hey anony, why don't you give the police some information to solve a crime without revealing your own identityyyyy!!!!!!!or why don't you . . . write a poem or something without attributing it to your name!!!"

Yeah, seriously. Sort of. Thanks, Fred (by the way, her xanga is linked on the right... it's called "Erudur").

That about wraps it up. Seeing as how I have a world civ exam in four hours, I should probably get to bed... after I say goodnight to Bill's 25's, and put my laundry away. I never got around to my biblical interpretation homework, dang it... =( I'm so behind.

I'll have a post about all my classes one of these days/nights. See you all when I get back. Many thanks for everyone's comments... they make me smile like a doughnut. =o

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

familiar faces

~ for Scarfney, Bex, Rheanna, Liz, and anyone else who finds personal meaning in this post ~

greetings. I'll make this brief, since you probably have things to do, blogs to read, and mice bases to explore. =)

seems like everywhere I look, I find someone who is looking for something or someone, or both, or something else entirely, but whatever. the point is, every time I read a post about tears, smiles, laughter, betrayal, rescue, love, hate, anger, bitterness, loneliness, apathy, or any things like that, I always want to do something about it, and not because of the things, but because of the people.

I know this sounds like something someone would say if they were halfway between a stalker, a parent, a crush, and a televangelist, but I hope you can take me at my word when I say this: I want to say whatever you need to hear, do whatever I can for you, be whoever I can be so that you can experience the Life God gave/gives/will give you the way He meant to.

had enough mush? ;) might as well attempt to lighten things up, now that I've asked you to dive into a strange-looking pond you can't yet see past the surface of.

(oh btw, before I do that: the post's title is for the fact that I have seen your mice bases, but never really known you in person. okay, moving on.)

Top 10 Ways to Know Isaiah is NOT a Stalker, Parent, Crush, or Televangelist:

#10. He lives 259.61 miles away from you.

#9. His last name is Romanian, and half of his blood is Filipino.

#8. He has the most insane (literally), passionately burning Llllove for a girl named Llaura, who does not Llllove him in return. (at the top of this window: search my blog for Llaura)

#7. His phone number starts with 1-714, not 1-800.

#6. When he sees your messy room, he says, "feels like home," and buries himself in the clothes and food and homework to take a nap.

#5. He greets you with a hug, not a bloody axe.

#4. He mostly wears all black.

#3. He says "God is here for you" instead of "Satan is coming to get you."

#2. He doesn't pull that cheesy I'm-just-stretching-but-really-I'm-putting-my-arm-around-you trick when you go to the movies.

#1. He encourages you to sit at your computer all day.

I'll post again for you guys sometime tonight or tomorrow... I'm looking forward to meeting you. =) Lissenen ar' maska'lalaith tenna' lye omentuva.

a few quick comment replies...

Christi said,

Wow! I haven't been here in like a week and there are so many new updates my head is swimming! :p All very good though... ;) And as for your questions:

7. ... a) solve riddles that baffle the Sphinx. MAN that would be sweet!!!!

So there ya go. :p Man, I really want to go write a story now, lol! I think I shall... :)

Three things here: loved your mention of Prince Charming, loved your answer to #7 (that one was for you, for a purpose as yet unknown to you), and lOVED that I inspired someone to dive into story.

I love blogging...

Fred said,

1. Mom says of course, your friends are always welcome at our table. just make sure she knows ahead of time so there's enough vittles for everyone.

2. Bill lent me what he says is "the worst movie ever". Excuse me, the worst ninja movie ever, and said you should watch it.

3. I wanna go to the levy

1. sweet. who wants din-din with zay-zay? =P

2. I know Professor/Pastor Bill Dogterom, room-mate/funny-guy Bill Deans, and Bill the cat. Oh, and Bill the lizard ladder guy from Alice in Wonderland. Logic insists that I assume you don't mean any of these. WHO THE FOOF IS BILL?!?

3. Good, I need someone to help me beat up Jenihe and her gang when they ask to spar. ;)

Fred also said,



Check out the post of 11:14

ring any bells?!? what does it mean? o.O

Merriman? I think it's a coincidence. Google singapore legend merlion if you want, though... I mean, it's just a variation on mermaid and merman. The Singaporians probly have a totally unrelated name for the thing (I doubt they call it "Merlion").

Evan said,

I would very much like to get together at your place and spar, and eat food. I don't know how the whole worship team thing is going to work while people are in mexico, but I'm not going, so I can still sing. See you then.

Heck yes, food and sparring and worship. Lookin' forward to masticating, annihilating, and harmonating with you again. "I see myself, seated on the throne..."

I don't think we should let worship songs be canceled. Where there's a Isaiahevangarrettwhoeverelse, there's a way.

it's like a vibrating cylinder of oiled glass

I am so intensely anticipating my spring break that I'm afraid it will be disastrously disappointing. Here are some specific things I'm looking forward to:
  • singing/playing with my friends and family at Clovis Christian
  • tasting the food my mom and aunt cook... =P *slurping noise*
  • sparring in backyards, front yards, and at levies
  • meeting Katie
  • hanging out with Jenihe, Scarfney (hopefully), Brandon, and others
  • hugging Lisa and Alissa
  • making fun of movies with my uncle
  • discussing d&d with my uncle
  • junking out with my uncle
  • beating my uncle and brothers at Soul Calibur 2
  • getting beat by my cousin Jacob at Onimusha
  • reading Blue Like Jazz
  • tasting Mama Pat's fast
  • meeting Bex and Rheanna (maybe?)
  • laughing at Keith
  • throwing Gabriel at the ceiling
  • seeing everyone off to Mexico
  • laughing with Garrett (if he gets well quickly...)
  • borrowing Michelle's flute (hopefully!)
  • hugging everyone, actually. anyone who is down with hugs, see me.
  • lighting my black candle and listening to Sade, alone
  • crying
  • sharing my new music with people who like to hear new music
  • seeing my sister Leah smile
  • blogging from a different place, a different time
  • diving deeper into my relationships

I sang hard tonight. After I got back from worship with Huntington Hall (Needham chapel is a great place for candles, communion, and songs, by the way), I went through all my favorite Kutless and Switchfoot songs, and some other stuff, and now my voice is this post's title. It feels great. I just wish it had happened when people weren't trying to sleep.

Goodnight, everyone. You're in my prayers, and on God's heart and mind.

Monday, March 07, 2005

a slough!

or is that 'slew'? well, the point is, I got like 11 comments in two days' time. *blush* I guess it's because I had a quiz, but still... it's cool. Anyways, I'm not going to respond to all of them, just the ones I can think of responses to.

Davida said,

hahahahaha very funny! :) actually, i think i just might have to copy it and post it on my blog. :)


Grandamanda said,

I am very proud of you. Realizing when you're stumbling is the first part of it. You have my prayers just like you always have, but now they've become more specific...which I always love. Apology accepted. I loves you bro. *hugs* p.s. I don't know if I ever told you this, but thanks for the cd's you made a certain girl whom you had just met. Those songs had an impact on me...er... her. :D

*returned* to hear that the music I share had an impact on someone is worth two comments... which means you get a gold star for each of the three you left here. =D

Ghost said,

Brilliant questions. but what's the point of thinking, what thing you would rather want to do, if you can't do those things anyway? it's just self-torture.

What's the point of any fiction at all? What's the point of watching movies like Spiderman or reading books like Tolkien's?

To enjoy story. I think it's torture NOT to think about any of this stuff!

Want to enjoy it some more? Just wait for my Matrix post...

Ug the Smart Aleck said,

1.) One could lead to the other - if I can see into the future, Ill know when Im gonna be shot at, and I can "dodge" that situation or defuse it before it happens.

Not according to The Time Machine story. =) By the way, that movie offers a pretty good explanation for how things would work out if time travel caused an endless loop. Check that movie out.

6.)Is it that specific? Can you only sneak past your mother? Or is it general sneakyness? Actually, either way I think Id go with the intimidation - it fits me better.

well, mom's are VERY hard to sneak past, so it's really both.

7.)Solve riddles. Typing fast is too limited, and may be made obsolete by technology at any time (voice recognition on computers).

I'll rephrase: "Would you like to have the dexterity/speed (when it comes to the finer motor functions) to be able to type 300 wpm?" I'm guessing you'll keep you answer, though...

8.)Breathe fire. No one walks much anymore, and any water worth crossing would take too long to walk across.

LoL foof-head.

9.)Is the bringing back a dead soul a one shot in your lifetime deal? I still think I would choose that one.

Yeah, one-time.

Jenihe said,

7. a (:::cries as looks at b)...cruel lol

LoL I put that one there for you. =)

9. b, definitely b.

this one was for you, as well.

Kevin said,

3. Lift a truck. Either could be used to impress people, but if you punched through concrete, you'd probably have to pay a bill. You could safely lower the truck back down. =)

A technicality... what you don't know is that I'm planning to introduce all of you to a story in which you will be able to punch through that concrete. Without paying for it.


survey: take two

Would you rather be able to...

1. ... a) dodge bullets, or b) see into the future?

2. ... a) fly, or b) walk through walls?

3. ... a) punch through concrete, or b) lift a truck with your bare hands?

4. ... a) heal fatal wounds in seconds, or b) run the mile in sixty seconds?

5. ... a) move things with your mind, or b) charm an enemy with a smile and a wink?

6. ... a) sneak past your mother to go to a late night party, or b) scare off that thug in the alley with a low growl?

7. ... a) solve riddles that baffle the Sphinx, or b) type 300 words per minute?

8. ... a) breathe fire, or b) walk on water?

9. ... a) beat up Jet Li, or b) bring one dead soul back to life?

10. ... a) change the past, or b) determine the future?

Sunday, March 06, 2005

just kidding...

I said goodnight as if I were about to turn off the laptop... and I did do that. But then I watched the Punisher, and had some time to think, and I realized and understood what I felt like I wanted to say but didn't know how to say at the time when I said goodnight.

Everyone has lonely moments and times, including me, but never before this have I ever thought that loneliness defined me. Many times I've thought of myself as a loner, but only tonight did I describe myself as a lonely person, and feel satisfied with the accuracy of that definition.

It makes sense. I've almost always made friends by accident. 'I' (as in, Isaiah before Christmas break) am usually never intentional about being a friend to someone, just for the sake of forming a friendship. I was homeschooled for most of my life! God often brought awesome, fun people into my life without me having to do anything. I can list two dozen for you right now without hesitating between names. (Josh, Caleb, I think of you two first, for some reason.)

But now, I'm becoming different through the choices I've been making, and those differences I've been choosing to make are leading me into a change not just in choices but in habit and lifestyle. I'm certainly not outgoing, but I'm not as distant as I used to be. When someone sits down at my table in the caf, I take off my sunglasses and stop eating so that I can listen to them speak, and ask them questions. When my idiot roommate Bill (sorry, Bill... you only do stupid things once in awhile, not all the time, and everyone does that) tries to introduce me to an attractive young lady, I politely let him have his fun. And then beat him up later.

Speaking of beating people up, today I wrestled one of the buff-est guys on our floor. He looks like Prince Charming (except more buff and toned), but acts like he's from Sweden. Probably because he is. Anyway, he challenged me to fight him as I was walking down our hallway today. I tried to explain to him that I had never wrestled in highschool, only lifted a few freeweights every now and then, and would probably die very quickly in a real fight, but he just kept coming with his fake punches.

When he saw that he was getting nowhere (except pushing me backwards), he tried some wrestling moves. He might've had a chance, if he hadn't decided to come in low. I hooked his leg, pinned him with kesa gatame, and told him to tap out, until finally, after some futile struggle, he stopped saying he wasn't going to tap out, and then tapped out. What I don't get is how I can eat whatever food I want whenever I want it (including snacks and skipping meals), and only lift some 25's every other night, yet still dominate him. If anyone has an explanation that doesn't include Filipino-ness (that's only half, and it seems to be fading, so it doesn't count), I'd love to hear it. Oh, and sorry Manda, there was no prophecy, so that theory's out, but I'm open to others.

Where was I? Loneliness.

I didn't start building, repairing, strengthening, and creating relationships because I was lonely. I started doing it because I knew it was the right thing, and because I knew I had been doing the wrong thing. I don't know how to interact with strangers in person. To put it another way: I don't know how to make friends out of strangers, other than by letting them do that with me (which only happens if people have to live with me, like my 3rd floor band of brothers).

Anyway... the post about embarassment (below) has something to do with this loneliness, I think. I have lots of reasons to be ashamed right now. Despite my friends, I also have reasons to be lonely. All of my closest friends are far away. Someone who was once as committed as I am, abandoned me. God is frequently my Creator and Savior and Father, very rarely my Friend. (This is my perception and feeling, not Truth.)

I might as well say it. I've been flirty. I thought maybe it was some strange form of vanity, but a friend of mine helped me clear that concept away to make room for this one. Have you ever known a guy to have so many pictures of himself available to the public? Have you ever felt like I was maybe manipulating a conversation with you? How many times since last semester have I mentioned weight-lifting, on my blog or in person?

How about that story I just told? Why would I want to tell that story, other than to make myself look good? Yeah, I rarely ever have a chance to be proud of something I've said or accomplished, so maybe I have some [lame] excuse... but I don't think that's a great motive to have for storytelling.

(I'm really only addressing specific people with specific questions here, but I'll leave them ambiguous, because that's really the best way to do it, I think. This post is more for me than it is for those of you who consider yourselves regular readers.)

I can no longer adequately express (i.e. show) how I feel about Llaura, to Llaura. She isn't expressing herself to me at all. There's a huge void where she was, and like I mentioned in a much earlier post (weeks ago, or days, who knows... every day seems like a week now), this vacuum is pulling at my insides, begging for food.

I'm in the mood for jelly-beans.

I have the wrong appetite. I'm telling you because acknowledging it and confessing it will help me deal with it. I'm feeding something that needs either suppressing or redirecting, not junk food. (I'm not calling anyone junk food there... I'm calling my 'eating' habits junky.)

Oh, hey, by the way... just a quick thing on how my blog works. If you click "Comments" underneath a particular post, a new page will load which shows only that post, and the Most Recent Posts column on the right will only list posts which are recent in relation to the post you've clicked on. In other words, every post gets put on the main page, as well as on its own page. If you want to get to the main page from a single-post page, click the picture of me and the moon, at the top of the page.

As I was saying: jelly-beans. Right now, there's sort of a famine. Actually, I shouldn't call it that. It's more of a fast. I'm fasting from that, and waiting for God to bring me whatever is in His will to give to me.

Waiting is so hard. Builds discipline, though, and that's definitely something I want.

I have-to/need-to/want-to thank all of you who consider yourselves my friends. Talk about undeserved blessings. Please forgive me if I ever made you feel awkward or uncomfortable with my behavior (this is for any of you). Thanks again.

Erudur, good post... but I don't understand the part about real Love wanting. Help me out on that, if you will.

As for the rest of you... if you answered that survey, prepare to be drawn into story.

dumb and dumber

i've embarassed myself, and i think i know why i did it. if i try to explain it, it'll just be more embarassing. some of you will notice a few changes about me (the online me, not really the me in person), and if you do, i apologize, even if i didn't really affect you.

thanks for pointing it out, you two. my subconscious was aware of it; i needed to realize it clearly.

goodnight, everyone.

Saturday, March 05, 2005

without preamble

Kevin pleaded,

Will you give me a hint? At least tell me why you won't say.

Because if I said it, there would no longer be one thing I wouldn't say, and I wouldn't be able to say, "Well, there's one thing I won't say..."


Charlotte E. said,

I live in California. I am a christian. I big rat (old friend), once told me about this blogger.

sounds like we have some things in common. would you mind telling me which old friend told you about my blog? i enjoy discovering connecting points in stories.

i'm not hearing you clearly on the 'I big rat' thing. come again?

Sorry for not posting more earlier about who I am. I am always nervous about posting in new websites. But, you know, curiousity kills the cat. And, I yes I do have ten fingers and toes. You do a good job on your blogger. I check into once in a while.

no worries, and no need to be nervous, but i won't tell you not to be. if you're more comfortable feeling nervous, that's cool. good to hear you've got twenty digits, and gooder to get a good comment. =) danke.

Jenihe said,

"At what age (either one or both)?"
Both, definitely both. As for the age, if I got a say in it, I'd hope before I'm 25. I don't think I could call an age, just whenever God works things out. (Saying that I'm hoping God hasn't meant for me to get married once I'm....heck, 44 or something. lol.

but if He did mean for that, He might make you into a great nation, and that'd be cool. but then you might have to worry about your husband telling kings that you're his sister, so it might not be so cool. =
Re: Learning to stand up for myself...that's probably a whole blog/email in itself.

Hmmm... I look forward to it, then.

"if you learn to cook Mama Pat's anything, you will have many visitors for dinner, including me."
-Well, Mandee wrote the recipe on my whiteboard, but thre aren't directions for it at all, so I'll have to go straight to mom for better directions. Maybe next week I'll attempt the recipe? mmmmm

LoL sweet. I heard you're watching and discussing the Village. LUCKY!!! wish I were there...

I can't fly? Ever? Can I become a ninja?!

I'll bring home a book that will explain how to be a ninja. there are some pretty amazing things about ninjas in it.

"you seoul-sister? *wah wah waaahhhh*"
-.......uh, yeAH

I'm here till Friday.

"ROTFL!!! I'll help! *puts on his ninja gear* i've seen it, btw. you don't want to see it... but you can't know that until you see it, so... =)" (re: ciy video)
-YES!!! YES!!!! Someone to help my cause!! Let's doooo it.

=D I hope Alex and Garrett and Evan and Keith don't find out... it'll ruin it if they do. They'll probably be waiting next to the window or fireplace, sparring weapons and duct tape in hand.

Dang it. Evan, tell no one, or I'll send a complaint letter to the President. And your DM.

Jenihe, we'll have to make you a ninja costume. Bring a big, dark t-shirt to Fuzion a week from tomorrow. (I won't cut it up, I promise.)


Now on to your dreams. Sheesh

what's the sheesh for??? long comments are all that!

"also: these are in no particular order, so if something is #43, it just might be the most important one, or the least."
-I immediately went and checked #43. lol

The funny thing is, I KNEW someone intellectual enough would do that, so I changed it from what it was to #43. =D

"2. Successfully/secretly steal something from a friend's room while they are sleeping, then return it two weeks later just as successfully/secretly (while they are sleeping)."
-I like this one. Lemme know how it works out.

If the other mission goes smoothly, maybe we can start a ninja dojo group thing, and operate this as a co-operative operation. cooperatively.

"9. Make that one face again, when Garrett hit my thumb on Superbowl Sunday."
-hahahhahaha....um. yeah.

ask him, he'll tell you it was amazing. i screamed silently like a donut.

"11. Teach the youth group to play Sweet Cuppin' Cakes."
- I just learned that this past Thursday at Verve, though I can only get it right twice in a row, then I'm hopelessly switching arms, tangling things up, flinging the cup across the room.

our first activity as a ninja dojo will be sweet cuppin' cakes, ninja style. it's going to be totally sweet.

"13. Write a song that someone loves, and play/sing/record it for them."
-This doesn't really have to do with this particular dream, but it inspired another thought. When/if I get married, will you sing at my wedding?

I thought you said you gave compliments directly/blatantly. That one was subtle enough to be inadvertent! gold star!!

True love + intense music + good friends + God's will in action = Isaiah will be there. I get to hide behind the curtain and put 'anonymous' on the program, right?

"20. Shave my legs."
-I can definitely help with this one. Mwahahahaha.




i just don't know what to say. I really don't. Jenihe...

i dunno. let's move on to the next comment.


"43. Become reliable."
-I like this one, whether or not it is secretly most important to you.

Lately, it actually has been a big issue for me... but it's not what I had originally. =)

Since this is the most in-depth respone I've gotten from listing my dreams, you get the priviledge or learning two more of mine, if that's a priviledge?

heck yes it is! I'm totally replying to everything from now on. (except the ones that don't let me because i'm not a 'preferred user.' what is that all about, anyway???)

1) Start the largest on-land game of Marco Polo

I didn't know how deeply and imaginatively cruel you were, until this moment. we'll be like the Israelites in the wilderness, shouting marco at everyone within earshot.

I love it.

2) Find an underground civilization and be accepted by them.

LoL nice, this one's awesome. hey, i know some underground dialect, if you want to check out the dark elf community.

Steph said,

I love it. Sweet Cuppin' Cakes! Many others were great, but that one REALLY stuck out (so what if i am slightly bias in its favor?)
Dreams are nice. Having fun trying to make them come true is often even more fun (depending on what they are)

Some dreams are fun to try to achieve. Others require alot of pain, patience, sweat and blood...

Many QQQQQQQQQQ to the people who responded to the survey. Soup for you. lemme know if there's something you want me to post about, and I'll give it a shot.

Survey says...

Actually, you guys get to says.

Would you rather...

1. ... a) Escape from a heavily-guarded medieval prison using only a rock, your left sandal, a few magic tricks, and your roguish good looks, OR b) single-handedly defend your home on the moon from a rebel faction of Earth's military in the year 2499 A.D.?

2. ... a) Infiltrate the enemy's fortress with your loyal friends Janus the Mage, Mao Yu Shen the warrior, and Reven the thief, OR b) recover a sacred ankh from an Egyptian tomb filled with ghosts and booby traps?

3. ... a) Help your older sister escape the enslaving surreality of the Matrix, OR b) use your psychic dream-inducing powers to inspire your village elders to raise an army that would fight back against the frequent and merciless barbarian raids?

4. ... a) Tame and train an intelligent, mythical beast (pegasus, chimera, etc.) to be your lifelong companion, OR b) spend the first sixteen years of your life learning to breathe underwater and fly, and then use those talents to conquer and rebuild an evil nation governed by your wisdom and authority?

5. ... a) Solve the mysterious murder of your favorite niece, only narrowly escaping death in the process, OR b) become a vampire and haunt the house of someone against whom you hold a deep grudge?

6. ... a) Answer one of the questions above, OR b) go read a blog that isn't overflowing with fantastical children's stories?

Thursday, March 03, 2005


~ from Jenihe's mice base ~


Here are mine, what are yours? Things to do before I die, or want to do. All are mine, but some I came across online.

1. Fall deeply in love (get married)

At what age (either one or both)?

3. Study viruses

physical or digital? ;)

13. Write a book

about what?

20. Learn to stand up for myself

what do you mean?

21. Learn to cook Mama Pat's creamy chicken recipe....aahhh

if you learn to cook Mama Pat's anything, you will have many visitors for dinner, including me.

22. Learn to fly

I hate to say this, Jenihe, but... only ninjas can fly. i'm sorry.

23. Visit my sister in Seoul, South Korea

you seoul-sister? *wah wah waaahhhh*

24. Learn Latin
25. Learn Hebrew
26. Learn sign language

SWEET. don't forget Greek.

31. Shave my head

i'd advise against it.

35. Learn every word to "we didn't start the fire"

wow... i just looked up those lyrics, and... good luck. *gives her his rabbit's foot*

36. Tell someone my entire life story, sparing no details

that can totally happen... all you need is a free day and one of your many friends. =)

37. Learn how to take a compliment

if you do, please teach me how. i want to know the secret.

43. Die my hair red again!!

*shakes head again* not as unadvisable (by me personally) as bald, though.

47. Fart in a crowded space

might I recommend any of the public restrooms at Union Station?

48. See the girl-forbidden CIY video hidden at Alex's someplace. Will anyone help?

ROTFL!!! I'll help! *puts on his ninja gear* i've seen it, btw. you don't want to see it... but you can't know that until you see it, so... =)

49. Visit Israel

sweet. i'm coming, too.

50. Lick the gum wall. Lol

it was an okay experience. i think you should climb it as well.

Come on, you know you have some to share.

Alright, alright... here goes. Remember: some dreams are possible in this life. Others aren't. I'll list both (though it goes against my grain). also: these are in no particular order, so if something is #43, it just might be the most important one, or the least.

1. Get a black belt in judo.

2. Successfully/secretly steal something from a friend's room while they are sleeping, then return it two weeks later just as successfully/secretly (while they are sleeping).

3. Take guitar lessons.

4. Take voice lessons.

5. Buy a nice irish flute and learn to play it (and keep it from getting stepped on or sat on).

6. Beat my grandpa (my mom's dad) at chess.

7. Beat my uncle (my mom's brother) at chess.

8. Be as dexterous as my little bro Eli.

9. Make that one face again, when Garrett hit my thumb on Superbowl Sunday.

10. Understand God's Word. All of it.

11. Teach the youth group to play Sweet Cuppin' Cakes.

12. Understand other people.

13. Write a song that someone loves, and play/sing/record it for them.

14. Learn to speak elvish (quenya, sindarin, or drow).

15. Blog my thousandth post (if I haven't already).

16. Learn to dance (any cultural art form type of dance).

17. Finish some homework early.

18. Have kids... at least a boy and a girl.

19. Homeschool my kids.

20. Shave my legs.

21. Put candle sconces (and candles) on the walls of my room.

22. Have my office lit only by plasma balls, lava lamps, and computer screens.

23. Write/tell a story no one has ever heard before, but that everyone wants to.

24. Find someone who understands my poetry.

25. Invent non-evaporative water.

26. Build an unbreakable katar based on the original design.

27. Get my pvc-smithing license.

28. Purchase, rebuild, and drive an '86 Toyota Supra.

29. Walk on the ceiling.

30. Play and win a game of Assassins, against at least a dozen people.

31. Learn capoeira.

32. Make Llaura laugh with joy.

33. Make Llaura cry with joy.

34. Bring my shadow to life, and become best friends with it.

35. Go as a vampire for halloween, and spend at least $100 and two hours on the costume.

36. Go as myself for halloween, and scare someone.

37. Prove that Bill is not amazing.

38. Meet a ninja.

39. Win a duel with a ninja.

40. Win a thumb-war with a ninja.

41. Become independent.

42. Reach level 40... in any game. =D

43. Become reliable.

44. Learn to speak, read, and write Estonian.

45. Learn humility.

46. Become as strong as my dad.

47. Become as wise as my mom.

48. See someone's heart through their eyes.

49. Help someone else realize their dreams, especially the near- or supposedly- impossible ones.

50. Pursue my dreams... some of them with others who share them, and others, alone.

john q.

I really like it when I don't have to force myself to blog. Sweet Lady Inspiration... let's make out.

I think I know why my movie-critiquing techniquing is so hard for my friends to relate to. I think I know why, when everyone else is talking about how a film was "just another such-and-such" or "needs some serious work" or "was doomed from the moment its premise was conceived," I feel the need to keep my mouth shut about how much I loved it. I think I know why www.screenit.com gave this movie a 3 out of 10, and I gave it a 9 out of 10.

It's because I'm naive. Please excuse the lack of accent-mark there. Blogger is consummately superlative, not perfect.

Seriously, I am a little baby. Googoogaga. (that's for you, Dad.) When Screenit says, "It was so obvious such-and-such was going to happen," I say, "...ohhhhhh... yeah, that makes sense." I think it's really sad, though. Screenit's review-person would enjoy movies so much more if he weren't such a smart-aleck-foof-head.

Check out these quotes from their reviews:

"Anyone who's seen the previews or heard even just the basic premise of the film will realize..."

"While I obviously won't give away the ending, this technique is beginning to wear thin. ...viewers now expect it from him. As a result, the "shocking" revelations or developments aren't that shocking since people know they're coming and are on the lookout for them* and any clues that might reveal the secret before it's unveiled. It's... certainly no way to make a film (at least not repeatedly)."

"While the film looks great... it can't escape the "been there, seen that, we already figured it out" feeling many will likely get while watching it. It's time... to move on to another genre and new storytelling techniques so that watching his next movie will seem fresh rather than another game of guess the ending*."

"It's just too bad that not as much fun and imagination went into crafting and then fleshing out the main, predictable* plot."

"Although I could see it coming from the beginning of the film*, I still didn't buy into the sudden transformation that - like much of the effort - seems to be trying too hard to shock the viewer, but nevertheless fails to do just that."

"Although a moderate surprise twist at the end won't be entirely predictable to all viewers, some, if not many will probably see it coming*."

(* emphasis added)

These quotes come from a set of Screenit reviews, of movies which they mostly rated in the 2-5 range.

Now, with this movie: The thing they say they saw coming from the very beginning, I was wondering about until the last 20 minutes or so. Do you know how stupid you have to be to not 'see it coming'? Stupid enough to really enjoy the suspense, apparently. =

It happens with friends, too... this specific problem. It isn't just Screenit. "I so saw the ending coming like at the end of the first scene!" "I had it figured out about halfway through." "Once they gave that one clue, everying afterwards was pretty predictable." "Didn't I tell you he was going to turn out to be a ghost?"

My answer: "Uhm, no, I didn't. Sucks for you, actually. I get to watch it over and over again, and enjoy it every time. You get to enjoy the first 15 minutes, once."


And now, the stuff I was going to say before I thought of how naive I am: "This movie was excellent. It made me cry, and rightly so. My only complaint was the overbearing soundtrack at the beginning (which Screenit agreed with, by the way). If you haven't seen it, see it."


This is one of those posts that won't get a title until I'm halfway through writing it. Aren't you all on the edges of your seats, now?


Well, stop it, then. It'll make your hindquarters weirdly shaped, and we wouldn't want that.

Fred said,

hmm well we can come up with another name for the partay.

I don't see FDC working if you aren't going (even as a councelor). So. . . let us know, preferably by May 1, if you're going. oh, Eli wants to come, too. If not, that's cool too, there's always CIY.

I'll try to find out as soon as possible. I trust the link worked? I think it's $180 or something if you register early (you still have time). It's only like $60 for counselors, though. =)

Why don't we call the par-tay "the par-tay" ???

Katie said,

i don't even know what to say. but that post... beautiful. that's how i think too. i think it'll come for you, i know it will. in the mean time, don't give up. it'll happen in time for you. sometimes it'll just take a while. just don't give up. i don't really know what to tell you. well, i'm talking to you on AIM so i've told you alot of what i think. there's no one that perfect. but it'll come close enough for you both to be happy. don't give up in the mean time.

This comment was in response to "a hopeless romantic" (linked on the right). Much grass for the comment... and you know I Love you, but please don't tell me "it will be okay" or anything similar.

See you soon. ;)

Kevin said

And there's one thing I won't say. I'm curious as to what that something is...

Well, I'd tell you, but it's the one thing I won't say. Funny how that works. =D

Jenihe said,

Here I come to save the day.....or at least comment. How's it going. It's so hard to stay in touch. How's school going? How's life? How's....um, anything else, relevent or not?

You're coming down the week before we go to mexico, right?

::::crosses fingers::::

LoL If you ever become a superhero[ine], I highly recommend Keith as a sidekick.

Hard to stay in touch, yes, depending on how busy you are. ;) I should be asking you how life's going, so I know how to pray for you. I hear prayers are more effective when they're more specific. ("Please help my friends" vs. "Please give Jenihe an extra measure of energy, and lead her beside still waters")

I'll be in Fresno hopefully on the 11th, through the 20th (at the outside).

What is the finger-crossing for??

charlotte e. said,

good luck.

hey, thanks. uhm. who are you??? =) tell me about yourself.. how you found my blog, what you like about it, what is annoying or boring, how many toes you have, etc.

Manda said,

To answer your question left on my xanga: March 20th- April 3rdish

DANG. I'm going back when you're going there.

Wow. I have so little to post. Today I:
  • watched Flight of the Phoenix
  • hung out with Andrew P. for several hours, which ruled (especially musically)
  • missed an appointment with Professor Pecoraro
  • made plans for my weekend, then realized they were a bad idea =(
  • wanted to blog something interesting, but failed
  • asked a stranger to tell me how many toes she had
  • ran out of stuff to say
  • found a lame but acceptable title

Tuesday, March 01, 2005


(did I get that right, Ghost?)

EDIT: Okay, you don't know the troubles I went through to put that diaresis there. If you just try to type in uks with the diaresis, Blogger interprets it as unetu üks. Not good. So now, if you look at the list of Most Recent Posts, you'll see that the special character is big and white, compared to the rest of the link which is small and blue.

*sigh* The things I do for the people who threaten to bite me...

EDIT: Wow, two edits for one post, in one day. =P Thanks, Ghost... I'll do it the easy way for now.

I don't know what to say.

I just did all my laundry, cleaned up EVERYTHING in here (including Bill's clothes and desk and other paraphernalia, no doubt acquired for free), and then vacuumed. My eyes are burning, as usual when I don't get enough sleep, and I have to decide whether to tackle my homework or my pillows.

I have two projects due tomorrow. One of them is for biblical interpretation, and it'll be a week due if I turn it in tomorrow. The other one is also for biblical interpretation, and it will be on time if I turn it in tomorrow. I have to go to almost every remaining chapel this semester (or face 'chapel probation' next semester), and I have to meet with the director of the Theatre Department right afterwards to explain why we can't use the design that he finally approved last week.

I ended up spending thirty-something hours on that project up to this date instead of ninety-something (as he had outlined at the beginning), and I don't think he's going to be happy. This is only one of like six big mistakes I've made so far, and they're paying me $2,000 in scholarship funds. Then Thursday afternoon, I'll meet with the VU webmaster (again- I did so this morning), and give him the info I get from the Theatre director. Then I'll have to get to work on that, and the director says he expects quick and smooth progress.

I'm just too sleepy and lazy to do well on anything I am supposed to be doing well on.

I had to lock my door to keep my friends away tonight, because I didn't want my bad mood to affect anyone. At least I can be friendly online.

cold feet

I couldn't do it. I couldn't part with my moon-bathing. I heart it.

I'm starting to sound like one of those popular teenage types.

Okay well... William from Sweden came in to give me some lifting tips, and I gave him some help with his Foundations class. He's studying for his exam tomorrow, and I took the exact same exam last semester, so it really worked out nicely. I just watched Time Machine, and enjoyed it. I'm going to bed BEFORE 5a tonight, and I'm going to need it.

I want to blog, but nothing comes... but wait! What's that sound?

It's the sound of Comments, and they're coming to the rescue, just like Mighty Mouse, to save the day!!!

Phillip reminisced...

I noticed that you eat Top Ramen. That brings back memories. Top Ramen, Viena Sausages, Tuna, Rice used to be my diet during my fresh man year at East Carolina University (North Carolina). I used to hang out and eat dinners with a specific female friend. Actually, she and I talked this weekend. She stills lives in North Carolina. MEMORIES.....

Well, I'm certainly never lending my rice cooker to Jordan again. >=(

Good comment, I like to hear about people and their stories. The past is present, or so they say 'round these parts. And by the way, you were very lucky to have a girl who ate those kinds of dinners with you. And it's definitely a plus that she was specific, rather than ambiguous. I'd hate to have dinner with Ms. *mumble mumble* Smith, you know what I mean?

;) just teasing. Get my e-mail with the .css?

Fred said, (I love how that rhymes... simple things in life, eh?)

hey Ij, I'm definitely smelling 2 sumthin-sumthin's this summer:

1) combined isaiah-is-older-than-the-hills/fred's sour 16 partay. complete with ninja chicken, sparring, and singing-together-time (hehe karoake!) Why? I need an excuse to spar with your friends, you need an excuse to have a bday party, we both need an excuse for dad to bbq. and we all need an excuse to sing together.

2)FDC- I don't want to go to CIY this yr. if you're going to FDC, I'd rather do that. what's the cost, when do we need to register by, are you even interested, can I drive? :)

Uhm. I refuse to have an Isaiah par-tay. Thanks for remembering the spelling, though... gold stars for you. I'm way into the sparring and ninja chicken idea, though. Just one question: how are you going to get everyone to sing together? and what song?

About FDC: here's a nice little link for you to follow and get info from. If I go this summer, it'll be as a counselor, which might be cool and might be awesome and might be alot of work.

No, you may not drive. Mr. Benton himself is scared to drive those mountain-y roads (I accidentally typed 'toads') and anything that scares Keith B., scares me.

schmirkzeesteinberg said, (why did you have to do that?! your name is SAMUEL! it's a perfectly good name!!!)

On the issue of loving yourself. I dont think it is possible to love our own selves. This is only a result of loving God first. The New Testament says "He who loves is known by God". The ball doesnt get rolling until we love God first, because he first loved us, we can then love others also.

In short, God loved us, we love him back, we can now love others including ourselves. The power to love comes from God. We dont have the ability to love ourselves because we cannot see ourselves the way God sees us. That's what the passage means about God knowing us, he knows who we really are because of what his Son did.

His blood covers our unrighteousness. Thats what God sees... the blood of Christ, pure holy, righteous... amazing stuff.

Loving others as you love yourself has no meaning until you include God in the formula, just like anything else, nothing pretty much makes sense when God is excluded.

Ay-freaking-men, heck yes, and all those other superlativey expressions of agreement. Check this action out, Kev/Christi/Manders. B) Yeah, you wish your dad was schmirkzeelongname.

Thanks Dad.

Manda said,

oh I like that post above ^

*thinks* dang... which one is she- Oh. Night life. Thanks! =)

Kevin said,

It never says to love myself. You want to get logical? Here's some logic for you: if I hate myself, and I follow this command to love my neighbor as I love myself, that means I will then fulfill the commandment by hating my neighbor.

This is something I'm learning right now: you can't understand the Word by being logical. You have to study the context, the authorial intent, all sorts of stuff. To say that this verse is telling me to love myself would be just as reasonable (on the surface level) as saying that it's telling me to hate my neighbor.

This was actually pointed out to me by a friend. Your logic here actually proves my point.

If you hate yourself, then you will fulfill that commandment by hating your neighbor.
If you love yourself, then you will fulfill that commandment by loving your neighbor.

I think we agree that the Bible commands that we love others, don't we? Therefore, we are commanded not to hate others, obviously, that being the opposite of loving them. Am I correct so far?

If you hate yourself, you will fulfill the commandment I quoted in that other comment by hating your neighbor. However, another commandment says we must love our neighbor.

The only way to fulfill both commandments, then, is to love both your neighbor and yourself.

Ha ha. Logic prevails! Lol. I'm a logical person. It's how I think things out.

You may be a very logical person, but not all logic is valid, and still rarer is sound logic. A valid argument, of course, consists of a conclusion which must be true if the premises are true (speaking deductively, rather than inductively). A sound argument is a valid argument which has all true premises.

Fortunately for both of us, Schmirkzeesteinberg (what a pain, Dad, geez... gosh...) has laid down the bottom line for us. Check it. *points upwards*

Kevin ALSO said,

This is kind of random, but oh well.

Dude, when we meet sometime, we are SO going to have to spar. It will be my first time ever. Except for that one time...at Boy Scout camp...dunno if that was really sparring, though. We were actually hitting each other with those sticks, though. One person even got a small cut. :S

I'll probably discover that I have an amazing talent in sparring. Nah, probably not. But it'd be fun.

Cornbread vs. Isjami

Awesome. It'd be like Obi-Wan vs. Darth Maul. Only I might not catch you by surprise and cut you in half at the waist...

Dude, that would be cool, though. I could so imagine you in robes like Darth Maul's. You could even make a double sword thing. That would be awesome.

I'll come to California, sometime...maybe in a year or two I'll be able to convince my family to go on a vacation there. Who knows.

Until then, I'll just have to mentally work out what I'll do when we spar. I'll have everything worked out, every possible move and counter-move, and then I'll whoop you. =)

I think the cornbread/isjami thing would draw crowds. I saw we charge admission and use the proceeds to benefit the "make more weapons" fund. B) heck yes.

Be very careful with those prophecies, though. The only person to ever fulfill one of those "I'm going to spar with you for the first time ever, and slay you. Not only that, but your friends are going to die the same way." prophecy was the Grand Amanda, and that was definitely a one-time planets-aligned hell-froze kind of thing.

I once won a mass melee match using only my legs (my arms had been cut off). Don't mess. But there's one thing I will say: if you have the talent, I will personally throw a squishy salute your way. Those are prestigious thingies, where I come from.

And there's one thing I won't say.

Katie said,

don't hate yourself. you're starting to sound like me. don't let that happen. i miss you. only 11 more days!

10 more, now. =) *hug*

Christi proclaimed,

Ok, I am totally gunna have to take up your challenge Isaiah. But not now, lol. My mom is kicking me off the computer, and I've been all day so she kinda has a right to. ;) But I'm gunna do what I can to find answers to your questions and beyond, and get the specifics. Both sides have good arguements, but they can't both be right. So we'll see! :)

And I would still love to help with the story dealio! :D Just lemme know what to do! ;)

*hugs* God bless, and I'll talk to ya laterz bro! 0:)

Christi, you have no idea how much work is involved in this. =O It takes SO FREAKING LONG, and that's with four or five theological dictionaries of the New Testament at my disposal, as well as several Greek-English lexicons and dozens of different translations (language and interpretation) of the Word... and most of these are electronic.

All I can say is, good luck. I've already spent well over 12 hours exegeting nine freaking verses, and I'm about halfway done.


Evan emerged from the darkness and spoke the words said,

Actually, I was thinking about embarking on my own writing stint, because I haven't written anything on my own for over a year. Devin and I tried to write a co-authored fantasy novel by email. Not so good. But I would like to write a little sumthin-sumthin, and would gladly write it with you.

Excellent. I think we'll begin in the city of Cha'el, and a visit by the black flash... ;) don't forget to bring your guitar.