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Monday, February 28, 2005

night life

My day today:

  • get out of bed at 2p
  • do some homework
  • surf the net, chat
  • surf some more
  • watch Rush Hour for the first time
  • work out
  • clean my room
  • sing
  • eat pop-tarts
  • watch First Knight
  • find out my rice cooker is broken
  • eat top ramen

That was probably out of order. The point is, I've been going to bed between 4a and 5a for the past several nights, and while I very much enjoy the peace and quiet of night-time, the whole meal-time thing will take some getting used to. It's a good thing I don't enjoy my World Civilizations class (MWF 9a), or else I'd be very sad about dozing through it. =)

I did some homework today, but that's not really significant. I have more to do than I will get done on time. Know why? Because I decided to enjoy my weekend instead. Check out this excerpt from a recent letter to Llaura:

I realized something yesterday morning. It gave me a clear picture of my procrastination predicament. I thought about how it made me feel to turn homework in late and wait till the last night, and I though, "It feels like I'm in debt."

Then I realized, that's exactly what it is. I've borrowed time. I used my credit card to buy that movie, that time with Jay and J.T., that new blog template, that time playing my flute all night. I owe like a couple dozen hours, and this is the worst part: I have the time to pay it back. I just choose not to. You know what I do instead? Yeah. Borrow more time. And when Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday nights roll around, I give my responsibilities whatever is left in my time wallet, which is usually pocket change, not bills.

The answer: a budget. Okay, well, not really. I have to choose to make and follow a schedule, and the choosing is the hard (though simple) part. So why is it easy to choose to go to class, but hard to choose to do homework?

Because I can get B's without doing it, that's why. I thought I was going to get a low C on that world civ exam, but I got 88%. That's not bad, for bs'ing the page-long essay question. I got "good" and check marks next to some of the most vague statements I've ever written.
So there you have it. Old Testament homework due tomorrow evening (after my volunteer work hours at the Maple Learning Center), and two weeks' worth of homework due in Biblical Interpretation (which I would definitely take again, and again), and World Civ crap due on Friday. Oh, and I have to meet with the webmaster here (Mark Merrick) so I can get started building the finalized templates for the Theatre Department's new website.

I hate myself. Oh, that reminds me:

Christi said...

Well, I personally liked the music, but I'm also a huge fan of having sound on a page no matter what, lol! :p And it didn't take too long for it to load...

Anywayz.. That was kinda wierd not to see any comments from me in that last one, lol! Probably refreshing to you! ;)

And, I have to say I agree with Kevin on his comment. I really truely believe that it *was* the authors intent to slide that extra bit in there, that you must love others as much as you love yourself. In other places in the Bible it talks about loving others a lot, so that's not a question. We MUST love our neighbors in an open and friendly way. So I think that verse was more written to emphasise the last part: "...as yourself." :)

Talk to ya laterz Isaiah! :) God bless!

Okay, so you're saying that because most of the verses don't mention loving yourself, but one verse halfway implies it, I should live by that halfway implication.


Grandamacalebanders said...

It is implied, that we do, and should, love ourselves. There is a self-love which is corrupt, and the root of the greatest sins, and it must be put off and mortified: but there is a self-love which is natural, and the rule of the greatest duty, and it must be preserved and sanctified. We must love ourselves, that is, we must have a due regard to the dignity of our own natures, and a due concern for the welfare of our own souls and bodies.

*as you can probably tell I didn't write this but yeah lemme know what ya'll think*

I think: interesting thought, and I bet it feels really good to believe that. The conclusion seems to be lacking any premises whatsoever, though... in other words, the author doesn't say why [s]he believes this. It's a pretty big statement, too. He/she uses words like "must" and "greatest." I'd really like to see the reasoning behind these beliefs...

Kevin agreed,

Woohoo, go Christi! Lol. I wouldn't have thought of that. *thumbs up*

Hmm...new idea...Blogger emoticons? *shrug*

*thumbs down* Not for you, Christi... for your (plural) argument. Had I not taken that class at the jc, you might have gotten this past me... but no. You guys know I am always open to more disagreement on anyone's behalf (as long as they're not anymice), so feel free to come at this from a different angle.

If you do, though, I suggest you search for the answers to the following questions:
  1. Who wrote those verses down originally? Where did that author get the information?
  2. Who did the author write those verses to?
  3. How does knowledge of the main themes and purposes of the book affect our understanding of the verses in question?
  4. What implications do the original Greek/Hebrew/Aramaic (unknown) words have for our interpretation of the verses? (i.e. what kind of love is meant? did you know phileo was considered the highest form of love up through, and past, the first century?)
  5. How many meanings does the Word of God have? If it has more than one, why try to impress yours on me? If it has only one, how do you know you have the right one?

Just a few things to think about. I could keep going, but I have other thoughts I need to blog, and other comments to reply to. Oh, and by the way... good idea. I wish Blogger would supply emoticons... =\

Ghost said...

In some point the music was quite annoying. Especially when I tried to listen my playlist on the computer and your music just kept playing and i had to press that stop button every time. But if i listened, the songs were pretty okay. so i don't mind if that's playing here.

Hmm... well. I guess I'll have to do some more thinking on it. Maybe I'll embed the song, but disable the autoplay.

Dang, I know I had more to say.



I got this account just so that I could view others'spaces, but I ended up developing mine. There's not really anything interesting there (except perhaps an old pic or two you haven't seen yet), but if you have a yourspace, you can add me to your Friends list and give yourself a gold star. =)

On to more exciting things... that is, if you enjoy Jackie Chan movies, Dungeons & Dragons, or R. A. Salvatore's fantasy series. I mentioned a while ago that I had a story in mind, a role-play actually, and I know that some of you enjoy writing.

(A special greeting to my Kuhn cousin who, I am told, has been spending her free time in online role-playing communities. Mae govannen, mellonamin.)

So here is a link for you to follow, and when I say 'you,' I'm really referring to those of you who know the difference between a monk and a cleric... or else those of you who have ever wished you could swing a sword, cast a spell, be saved from the dragon by the knight in shining armor, or hide inside your own shadow.

Keep in mind: I just read through a bunch of these unfinished stories, and sometimes my own writing makes me laugh with embarassment. Do you and I a favor and look past the literary mistakes and errors =D to see the concepts, themes, and story elements beneath them.


Let me know if you're interested in a... shall we say, collaboration, or cooperative storytelling adventure, however you want to refer to it.

Wow... I had to go to my very first webspace with Angelfire just now, to dig up those old stories. I found a bunch of other stuff, as well, including a HUGE collection of letters to God, as well as stolen AIM conversations (the O-files, Danny! hilarious!!) and some letters between me and Alexa, as well as between me and Llaura.

Llaura, I miss you. Reading the letters around the time I had the party at my house made me cry. Same with you, Lexi, except different (obviously!). You know what I realized, Alexa? You were always more mature than me, despite being 6 months younger. Maybe you still are... more mature, I mean.

Dang it, where was I? Yeah. Llaura, I miss you. I'll send you some links when I write the seventh letter to you.

By the way, guys, the moon-bathing template is going into the archives. Who knows when it will show up again. Let me know what you think of the new look, whenever I put it up.

Sunday, February 27, 2005


I've been getting alot of comments. This makes me smile, like this: =D I want to put my replies on a separate blog, but it just doesn't feel right. hwisperings will have to be put to new use.

Amacalebanda said...

Have I mentioned that I really super love this whole replying to the comments thing you've got going on? Because I really super do.

Did you know that I think I've known you for 2 years?! That's crazyness. Yeah...it's midnight...or almost...but I'll try to send this comment off right at midnight just to be really super cool!

What can I be praying about for you this week? Let me know please. Oh... and *hugs back*

Wow. You actually did it. You commented exactly at exactly 2/25/2005 12:00:04 AM. I would give you a gold star, but it wouldn't be enough. You need something bigger, something better... how about...

A new nickname. Amanda, you will hereafter be semi-known as, "The Pumpkin Turner." About praying for me: pray that I can get out of debt. I'll blog more on that later.

Kevin said...

Selfish and indulgent? I never got that impression. So the quantity in which a phrase appears doesn't matter. That doesn't make my point invalid. Of course you can Love someone without Loving yourself. It's been done often. But those verses don't just say "Love your neighbor." They say "Love your neighbor as yourself."

Is that reasoning enough for you?

It never says to love myself. You want to get logical? Here's some logic for you: if I hate myself, and I follow this command to love my neighbor as I love myself, that means I will then fulfill the commandment by hating my neighbor.

This is something I'm learning right now: you can't understand the Word by being logical. You have to study the context, the authorial intent, all sorts of stuff. To say that this verse is telling me to love myself would be just as reasonable (on the surface level) as saying that it's telling me to hate my neighbor.

By the way, Kevin, you rule because you aren't hesitant about arguing with me. Five billion gold stars for you.

Ghost asked,

Is this Evanescence who's singing?

Yep... I took it off, though, because I want to know if people are tired of waiting for the page and music to load. Is my blog too data-heavy, too imagery-rich, too bandwidth-thieverous?

Thieverous. Webster is rolling in his grave.

Katie said,

that's pretty funny. i did this for you. i made a blogger! how exciting! well, i'll be talking to you soon. stay strong.
love, Katie

=D I Love you, too, singletine. I would link all you guys to the blog, but I don't think I'm supposed to. I'm special, apparently. B) Good times. Thanks again, Katydidn't.

schmirkzeesteinberg said,

The E. Coli growing on room temperature British beef is my froivate.

Finally, I can know that this is Dad. =) Thanks, Hadadezer. How is that dezer, by the way?

fred said...

LOL I love this list, even though I've read it before.

You love it like a Mahfoud loves oxtail.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

How NOT to Write Metaphors and Similes

"The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of Family Fortunes."

"Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master."

"He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something."

"His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer."

"She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again."

"The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't."

"Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze."

"Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the centre."

"Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever."

"He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree."

"Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from Peterborough at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph."

"The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can."

"John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met."

"The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play."

"The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon."

"Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do."

"The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work."

"The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while."

"Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.""

"She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up."

"It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before."

"The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Glenda Jackson MP in her first of several points of parliamentary procedure made to Robin Cook MP, Leader of the House of Commons, in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the suspension of Keith Vaz MP."

"It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with their power tools."

"She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword."

"She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature British beef."

"She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs."

"Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened."

"It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall."

Thursday, February 24, 2005


Kevin said...

Doesn't it say in the Bible to "love they neighbor as thyself"? Usually people focus on how you're supposed to love your neighbor, but I think you need to take a look at the part that says "as thyself."

I just looked it up on Bible Gateway. I am now going to list every Bible verse that came up on the search that contains the exact phrase, "love your neighbor as yourself".

Leviticus 19:18
Matthew 19:19
Matthew 22:39
Mark 12:31
Mark 12:33
Luke 10:27
Romans 13:9
Galatians 5:14
James 2:8

I think we can conclude that God thinks it very important that each of us should "love your neighbor as yourself," no? He put 9 (and probably more than that, that search can't be perfect) verses in the NIV Bible that say the exact phrase, "love your neighbor as yourself".

Now, if you're going to love your neighbor as yourself, you need to love yourself to begin with, don't you? I'm not saying you are selfish and indulgent upon yourself, but you love yourself.

Perhaps that is reasoning enough for you. Perhaps not. Either way, I hope it helped somehow.

Kevin, I really don't enjoy shooting stuff down... so don't take this personally, k?

  1. Verses that appear more than once aren't more important that verses that only appear once.
  2. I can Love others without Loving myself... not like I've mastered it, but ask some of my friends if I have ever Loved them. Ask Llaura.
  3. (by the way... I am selfish and indulgent)

Phillip said...

Hey Isaiah,

Life is excellent right now. My angel has been looking over me. I still need for you to give me an idea how to put a ship on my blogger. Whenever you get to Fresno, maybe I could go visit your dad and you give me me a few pointers.

=) It is good to hear that. Yeah, I was meaning to ask you, do you know any html or css? If you do, I'll just send you the template I used. It's really simple, but without at least a little understanding it can be confusing. Let me know.

Charlotte E. said...

I am a new user. Good job slamming the anymouse.

lol well, hi. Who are you?! =D

Thanks for the encouragement. Unfortunately, he hasn't shown himself yet. I guess I'll enable anonymous posting again, and see what happens. And by the way, thank you for not being an anymouse. How did you find my blog?

Christi whined...

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! Wait just one stinkin' minute here!!! That's *so* not fair! :p And this is why:

1) You *never* asked permission to quote me.. I demand I be compensated for the use of my own blabberings!

2) That quote was totally taken out of context! It was not meant the way you used it there, and you know it! ;)

3) Well, ummm, there really is no three.

So there! I demand that you act on this situtation quickly and accuratly! >;D Understood?

*hugs Isaiah while still making sure the baloon stays in the pool* Hehe, now you're all wet! 8D

1) Actually, I did say I was going to, and we never actually concluded the argument about it, so... yeah. There's my pitiful excuse. At least I have one. =)

2) Well, it should have been, and I like the way it sounds out of context... besides, we (Christians) take bible verses out of context all the time and never think twice about it. =P Mark 4, for example.

3) LoL Good. This shows what a good influence I am having on you.

*hug returned* Thanks for the dunk. I need those.

A very naughty anymouse said...




- - -

Can you say "GET A JOB?"
Hey, you are a very good blogger (I did not say excellent). I am impressed with your work. I am just a brain teaser.
Sincerely, DR. ANY MOUSE.
I have one hint for you: I live in Fresno.

- - -

THIS IS NOT NICE TO SAY: "my first instinct is to rip your face off and mop the floor with it, because:..."

Each time you say some not very nice, I will cut the cheese on this blogger.


you are a foof-head, unless and until you identify yourself as anything otherwise. =) have a nice day.

Caleb said...

More Quotes:
"Those aren't beans... are they?"

What else is there? You need a post dedicated entirely to quotes.

See, the problem is, the best sources of quotes are all living far away from me right now. =( This summer, I'll keep a quote book. I swar.

But here's one I just got online:

TequilaSlammer7: "celibacy bad medicine.."

Christi said...

*jumps on the roller coaster with Isaiah*

We're all here in our own way. And even though it may be confusing and, I know for me even scary, I do know God gave us friends to help keep each other in the cart. And prayer is definiatly a part of that! *hugs*

So Isaiah... You don't happen to dislike *anymice* by *anychance*, do you? ;) (sorry, that was lame, lol)

Haha, and I hope your "holiday" went better than mine! ;P God bless ya bro! 0:)

lol you're making me think of Mark 4 again. I guess it's because it's been on my mind anyway from studying it in class. *hug returned*

*hears her pun* uhm. *pats her on the head* hilarious, hun.

O.o I never say 'hun'...

Thea said...

Wondaful blogger Isaiah. Good job. :D

I am one of the very few bloggers who can honestly say, "A girl named Thea commented on my blog." If you think that's cool name, then high-fives to you.

Ghost said...

Who's Joel?
And I think it's cute that a guy is saying those things in public.
Well maybe it's not much in your country, but here it's extraordinary.
And yes, it doesn't sound like begging, he's just reassuring that he still loves her.

I've been wondering about this. Is it extraordinary in your culture for someone to say "I love you," or only for people to say it in public, or only for a guy to say it to a girl in public? I guess another way to ask would be, what would happen if a guy friend of yours told you he loved you, in public? How would you and everyone else around you react?

Thanks for the vote of confidence, by the way... it's encouraging. =)

Grandamanda said...

To me, it doesn't sound like he's beggin one bit. He just wants her to know that he still Lllloves her no matter what. With all the L's, not just one.

ps i couldnt remebr how many l's there were but I think that was right. I heart you Ij, thanks again for all the site help.

OliveU2, Manders. THANK YOU for this comment. It conveys more than it says, especially to me. *hug*

A very naughty anymouse said...

Are you still dating Llaura? It does not sound like it. It sounds like you are begging her to take you back

I responded to this one lower down, in the Public Service Announcement #3 post (click on link to the right to get there fast).

But Llaura, if you can just imagine me right now, I'm singing along to the Kokomo song with all my heart. I haven't forgotten my Pirate's promise.

Ghost said...

Like your hat.

B) Thanks... and I will take that as a compliment. ;)

Danny said...

You've already heard my thoughts on the matter.

But I like the story form. Very nice.

B) Thanks... for your thoughts, and the verinice.

Jacque (aka anymouse) said...

WOW! That last story was absolutely amazing! I must say that I've never before heared that story painted with such a beautiful use of imagery. Nice job.

Also, your list of qualities are not so unrealistic as you presumed. The are exactly what every girl dreams of in a guy!

No name, anymouse, but that's okay, I've been watching you. >=D Jk. Thanks for the comment, and for taking Christi's recommendation. By the way everyone, this comment was in response to one of the "Posts of the Months" (linked at the right side of this blog): a hopeless...

I think I already responded to this comment, actually... oh, well!

Please come back and visit (and comment) often. God bless.

Know Thyself

I'm big on that. I would pay big money to know myself. I would pay big money to talk to someone who knew me well. I think that's part of why teens post quizzes and send FWD's and stuff. "Tell me who I am, because I can't freaking figure it out on my own!" The other reason is probably that we just need encouragement from others, and that's a similar idea, but not entirely the same. I want to know myself because I figure that if I know myself, it gives me power over myself, in the same way that knowing how a computer works gives you access to its power.

But there's something that I have heard said from time to time that I have always strongly disagreed with. I've been told to "love myself."

LoL Funniest thing I've ever heard!!! Love myself. I think not. There is far too much to hate, and if I loved myself, I would not want to change myself. If I didn't want to change myself, I would never try, and that would mean staying the way I am forever.

But check this out: some people asked me "how is life?" tonight, and I hate that question, but they asked it, so I answered. "Slow and dutiful."

"Why is it slow?"

"Because I'm dragging my feet."

"That's no fun."

"Actually, it is, because when you drag your homework feet, you can go see a movie. When you drag your get-a-job feet, you have more time to sleep and relax."

"Maybe you should be lazy dragging your feet?"

LoL "You mean drag my dragging-my-feet feet???"


Okay, well, the conversation goes on, and I end up saying that it's really easy to keep promises to other people, especially when I L/love them. But myself? Promises to myself often fade away or collapse easily and quickly. Why? And then I realized it might be because I don't love myself.

I still don't understand the concept or reasoning behind it, but I think if I Loved myself, I would begin to find the discipline I've been praying for.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Kingdom of Heaven

Actually, it's a movie that should be coming out around May. Orlando Bloom's in it. It's inspired by the conflict between Christians and Muslims [several hundred years ago?]

My friend Jeremy is on the mailing list for free movie screenings, so a bunch of us not only went for free but got two free movie tickets for filling out a survey after the film. =) I really enjoyed it. I'm not going to post my thoughts on the movie itself yet, and I'll tell you why:
  1. I go to movies to enjoy them, not to analyze them, so critiquing can be hard for me.
  2. I'm much better at criticizing other critiques than I am at critiquing.
  3. For some reason, none of my friends watch movies with the general mindset that I do. Seriously, this happens all the time: I'll be talking with friends about a movie we just saw, and everyone else will have a bunch of stuff to agree on, and I'll be the black sheep. I don't understand it.
  4. The movie's not done yet. A lot of work will be redone before the final thing is ready, and I don't want to spoil it in any way, if any of you see it.

There's one thing I will say... It sounds like a historical movie, but it's really not. It's closer to an epic battle movie, like Gladiator or Braveheart.

And there's one thing I won't say...

Tuesday, February 22, 2005


Friends in Fresno are the coolest people, don't get me wrong... but the whole anymouse factor cancels that out, and then some. My sincere apologies to everyone who has NOT been abusing the anonymous posting option here on my blog. I've disabled it.

And by the way, I'll delete any more comments you make unless you identify yourself once and for all. Get a Blogger account that has your real first name in it (as in, birth certificate first name), and use it to comment from now on. That's the rule. =) You'll find that mice don't get to play games with cats, in my world.

I'll respond to all your comments when you comply and cooperate.

quote time

I just tried to type the word "Global" and typed "Blogal" instead. Obsession, anyone?

"Man, I'd be scared for my sanity, life, brain, friends, etc. if I were *anything* like you! Man, talk about total doomnation..." -Christi

Monday, February 21, 2005

Public Service Announcement #3

First things first. Ghost, you can read about Joel in one of the Most Recent Posts entitled, "the story of Abishai and Joel." Enjoy, and thank you for your comment, and don't forget to keep commenting. =)

Alright, Anymouse. You listen/hear. (told you I like to play with words.)

This public service announcement is to announce that:

  • there have been two public service announcements before this one
  • this is one of dozens of times I have shown my Llllove for Llaura on my blog
  • my first instinct is to rip your face off and mop the floor with it, because:
  1. you posted anonymously
  2. you commented on something about which you know nothing
  3. you haven't been reading much of the rest of my blog (obviously)
  4. you didn't wait one minute for your comment to be posted at exactly midnight

Okay, so that last one isn't very serious... but the rest definitely are. Fortunately for you, I don't know who you are, and my second instinct is stronger than my first instinct.

So... what is my second instinct, you may ask? Well, it's to explain things to you so that you can have a grasp on reality instead of your own unfounded assumptions. To that end, I'm going to link you.

The first two posts in the January 2005 archive should be very informative for you. Also, if you request, I have the Andrew Peterson letter, as well as the Lane-O letter... but I've gotta know you to give you those. Knowing you would be cool, by the way, so IDENTIFY YOURSELF!!!

Everybody enjoy your holiday. =D

still Your grace surrounds, pursuing

Llaura, I still Llllove you. I pray that you'll feel His Words being spoken into your life.

By the way, everyone... Joel didn't let go.

Saturday, February 19, 2005


I just thought of something. Just because a promise has been broken, does not mean it can't be remade.


the story of Abishai and Joel

Two men went out on a frozen portion of the sea, far to the north. The name of the first man was Abishai, and the second was named Joel.

After picking two holes in the ice, they began fishing. Several hours brought nothing but a few fish too small to live off of. These fish were thrown back into the ocean.

Eventually, Abishai struck up a conversation with Joel, since he was only a few yards away. Joel ignored Abishai at first, but as Abishai continued to speak, Joel began to forget about his fishing. Abishai had some very deep and interesting thoughts about life, love, and other mysteries.

But just as the discussion was getting good, the ice around them began to break up into pieces!

"Grab my arm," Abishai said to Joel.

"What? Why?" Joel asked, puzzled.

"I don't know. Just grab on. Maybe we can keep each other standing." Abishai dropped his fishing pole (but not into the water), and reached out to Joel, pleading.

So Joel grabbed Abishai's arm, and Abishai grabbed his. Their arms were linked like the linking things on old locomotive cars.

"But Abishai," Joel suddenly wondered out loud, "what if I start to fall in? Won't you be tempted to let go, and save yourself? There is no point grabbing on now, if one of us is going to let go later."

Abishai shrugged. "I don't know... do you?"

Joel nodded wisely. "I do. I will promise to never let go, no matter what happens, if you make the same promise to me."

Abishai laughed in response. "I can see that you are a trustworthy man. I promise I won't let go."

"Neither will I, then."

The ice continued to break. They weren't close enough to solid ground to escape their fate, so eventually they were stranded on a piece of ice just about big enough for three people to lay down on, as long as one faced outward, away from the other two.

But there were only two people anyway.

Abishai and Joel, on their 3-person ice floe, floated around on the ocean for about a year. Sometimes it became very cold, and they had to huddle together for warmth. Sometimes the ice became slippery, but whenever Abishai began to get close to the edge, Joel gently and firmly pulled him back. If their ice floe started to tilt, they would sit down to keep their balance. All day and all night for about a year, each man held onto the arm that held onto his own.

Then one day, Abishai heard a strange noise. "Do you hear that?" he asked Joel, but Joel was sleeping. "There's something bad happening. I can feel it. Joel, wake up."

"Hm? What's wrong?"

"I... I don't know. But I think you're sitting in a bad place on our ice floe."

"What?! Nonsense. This is the exact center, so it has to be the best spot."

"I feel like we're in danger, though."

"Well... get used to it, because I am not moving from the best spot. What if I move and something bad happens?"

But Abishai continued to hear the noises, and wouldn't stop asking Joel to move. This made Joel angry. "How do you know I am in the wrong spot? You don't even know anything, except for your feelings."

"They are very strong feelings, Joel."

"I will trust logic more than a feeling any day!"

But then their ice floe began to break apart, and the arguing stopped. Joel quickly moved away from the center, but it was too late.

"Abishai, don't let go!"

But Abishai had a very sad look on his face. "Joel... I must apologize..."

"What?? For what?"

"I am going to let go."

"What!!! No! You said you wouldn't! You promised!" Joel whispered fiercely.

The ice floe continued to crack. The surface looked like a spiderweb. They could hardly hold on anymore, but somehow they managed to do it anyway, plus have a conversation.

Joel didn't understand what was happening. "Abishai, why are you going to let go?"

"Because you wouldn't listen to me."

"That is no reason to let me die! If you let go, I will have no one to hold on to. The water could kill either of us in seconds!"

"Joel, you should not have to die. Let go, and perhaps you can save yourself."

"I'm sorry, my friend. I promised," Joel said firmly.

"Alright, then. Hold on. But I am a goner."

"There is still hope," Joel said, but Abishai had already let go. Now Joel was holding onto Abishai's arm, but Abishai was holding onto his fishing pole, which had been with them the entire time. Joel did not know that Abishai had been letting go at night, so that he could use both hands to hold the fishing pole. It was awkward with Joel holding on even in his sleep, in his dreams, but somehow Abishai had managed it for close to a year, without Joel ever knowing.

"Let go, Joel. If you do not let go, either you will die, or you'll be holding on forever. What is the point? I am already dead."

Joel started to speak, but hesitated. He realized that he had made a promise only because Abishai had done so, too.

"Abishai, you promised not to let go, for your sake and mine."

"I meant it then, Joel, but I do not mean it anymore."

Joel became very angry at this and wanted to shout, but...

Suddenly he turned to the audience and asked this question: "Which is more right for me? To keep my promise, and remain a man of my word, or to let go of a vow which should never have been made in the first place?"

Friday, February 18, 2005


well, I think it's pretty cool that our computer lab has a pc that's not only hooked up to a scanner, but also equipped with Photoshop 7.0... verinice.

a thousand words

New pics, from Morro Dunes... sad that I only have the ones of me. I need to get the rest from Llaura, especially the ones of Keith being... well, Keith.


I have decided that my blog is getting way too crowded. I will be splitting my blog as soon as I make some more decisions about cool templates and what-not. I really don't want to throw out this moon-bathing one. It took alot of work, dang it...

I've also decided that people need more music. I'll be compiling a list of all my CD's and maybe mp3's, and if anyone wants a mix or a copy (or an mp3cd), I'll find a way to send it to you.

In other news today, it turns out that liars do not go to hell! That's right, Mandee. I've just recently been informed that there were several people in the bible whom God Himself rewarded for their deceit!


That's it for now. Leave a comment or read an old post or click a link on the right!

Thursday, February 17, 2005

String Theory

just kidding, guys. Danny: courtesy laugh? pweeeeez?

All of the posts for February 17th (except this one) are really one long post. They're intended to be read as one, even if you read one at a time with bafroom breaks in between. I may end up making a separate blog for strings and stuff... geez...

That would make my 13th blog. We should have a Bloggerween party.

with a shout of Love

I really like that idea... it combines using the power of voice with the urgency of Love. LoL Is that okay to say here? The urgency of Love? Anybody feel a need to unpack that? Anybody asking "what the heck, just say what you're thinking already!! why do you always have to take like five million pages to explain yourself?!?!?" ?

I dunno. Hopefully what I want to express will just come out somehow. Those posts are the most fun kind anyway.

come, come, come
let us worship God
with our hands held high
and our hearts bowed down

we will run, run, run
through Your gates, oh God
with a shout of Love
with a shout of Love

So they talked about relationships in chapel today. Actually, that's been the focus of the entire week: purity. Going deeper in purity. I didn't attend the first two, but J.T. tells me that the campus pastor has been giving us something to strive towards, rather than what to avoid. I think that's awesome. Too many purity talks today about about not doing the bad things, rather than doing the good things.

You know, I've got all these books here. I might as well use them. They've certainly got value outside of classwork. I speak for myself when I say that, of course... I'll let you decide whether you like the stuff or not. =)

  • Content: a letter encouraging relatively new believers to continue in the truth of Christ they have received, and warning them against outside [religious] influences
  • Author: the apostle Paul [formerly Saul, persecutor of Christ], joined by his younger companion Timothy
  • Date: probably around A.D. 60-61
  • First Audience: the (mostly Gentile) believers in Colosse (the least significant of three towns noted for their medicinal spas at a crucial crossroads in the Lycus River Valley, approximately 120 miles southwest of Ephesus)
  • Occasion: Epaphras, a Pauline coworker who had founded the churches in the Lycus Valley, has recently come to Paul bringing news of the church, mostly good but some less good
  • Emphases: the absolute supremacy and all-sufficiency of Christ, the Son of God; that Christ both forgives sin and removes on from the terror of "the powers"; religious rules and regulations count for nothing, but ethical life that bears God's own image counts for everything; Christlike living affects relationships of all kinds
Close your eyes (after you read this paragraph), and imagine switching lives with one of your friends of opposite gender. No, I'm serious. Think of what you would do every morning, what classes you would take, who your friends would be, how your parents would treat you, and ultimately, how all of those differences would affect your worldview (your perspective on your life, how you reason things out, your beliefs, etc.)

Things would be kind of different, yeah? And you would definitely see and express things differently? Well, it's somewhat unfortunate, but this book Colossians was written about 19 centuries ago, in the nearby land <-heavy sarcasm of Palestine (presently called Israel). It was written in Greek. Then it was re-written in English, in dozens of translations. And somehow, we're supposed to extract not only the author's original meaning, but also the audience's original understanding of it.

It remains the Word of God whatever we do with it, but if we want that Word in us, we have to find it. We can't just apply the words to our 2005 American mindsets and assume that we've got the original meaning. They tell me, however, that the Spirit works through the Word during both the interpretation of, as well as devotion to, that Word.

=) With that in mind... enjoy! I've divided everything into separate posts and reversed the order they appear on the page, so you can read by section. If I said everything on my heart in one post, Blogger would probably either start charging me, or just asplode.

jelly beans and false teachers

I was talking with my friend Anymouse the other day. Actually, I've been talking to a lot of people for a long time, and the subject I've been bringing up every so often is romance, specifically in the youth culture of today.

At your school, how many pairs of people break up or get together in a single day? I seriously want to know what your estimate is. If you comment on this string of posts, tell me how many.

Okay, so if relationships (with God and with others) are the most important part of life (and I believe they are), then why do we throw them around like jelly beans? I say jelly beans because I always search around for the yummy ones, and if I ever try something new and it isn't delicious, I just spit it out. Sometimes I take revenge on it if it was particularly nasty. Even the best flavors eventually turn into these boring old squishy things. Sometimes I just suck off the sugary shell and ditch the inside.

Sometimes I try to put the jelly bean in my mouth, and it slips out of my hand and gets dirty, like it likes the floor better than my tastebuds. So I step on it, just for spite. It deserved it, anyway.

Sometimes I find a jelly bean I don't like, but my friend likes it, so we trade.

I can do any combination of these things with a jelly bean, in the same amount of time it takes a girl at your school to decide to break up with the guy she asked out last week.

Am I stepping on toes yet? ;)

Somewhere along the timeline of America's culture, someone or something or everything taught these kids that it's cool to date. I am not going to say that this is biblically wrong, because I don't have any verses that were addressed to middle-class teenagers. I can't back that part up yet.

But this is what I can back up, and so I will.

Relationships have existed since forever (trinity = perfect community). Relationships are the foundation of our faith (God - Christ - Spirit - you - me - other people). Relationships are the means of effective evangelism. Relationships are priceless (the blood of God). Of all the things God gives a care about (or "gives a son about," if you like to play with words), relationships are probly in His Top 2 list.

Relationships were designed by God to be perfect- not just pure, but also complete.

Relationships are the reason we are alive.

Now, let's compare and contrast with jelly beans. Jelly beans can ruin your appetite for real food. Jelly beans were invented by people, not God. Jelly beans were made to taste great (most of them, anyway) and last about ninety seconds (any/all of them). Jelly beans can be bought at a local gas station for about as much money as your daddy or mommy earns in like five minutes.

Jelly beans can look delicious and taste terrible, or taste wonderful for 45 seconds and then dull and boring for the next 45. Jelly beans can be sour or sweet. Jelly beans can clog your braces. Jelly beans are generally meant to be enjoyed one at a time.

I've received several compliments recently that my blog makes people think, or puts them in a different mood, or is very interesting. I just want to say, you can make this post as interesting or as deep and profound as you would like. I'll mostly be hiding my statements behind metaphors, allegories, similes, narratives, analogies, and other literary devices. Once again... enjoy! Take what you like, and leave the rest. Just like a jar of jelly beans.

And don't forget... leave a comment. Ask me a question. Call me a foof-head. O.o

where was I?

It's really unnatural writing in segments like this. Bear with me.

. . . dang . . .

. . . all . . aboard . . .

. . . train . . of . . thought . . .

. . . main . . screen . . turn . . on . . .

I foofing can't remember what my next OH YEAH!!!

Let's say it's 3:46 p.m., and your mumsy barges into your room (without knocking, as usual) and says, "Alright kiddo, you've got two choices: jelly beans now, or dinner at Mama Pat's house tonight."

What do you say?

If you don't know who Mama Pat is, then just substitute "Cell night at the Micu's tonight," or "Thanksgiving feast at Auntie I'm-an-incredible-chef's house tonight."

Made your decision?

Okay, now: let's say God's been knocking on your bedroom door for like forever, and you've just been hiding out in there with your mini-fridge and microwave and internet-based lifestyle, and you've been sneaking out your window at night to hang out with friends because you KNOW He's going to ask you to follow Him, and the last time you tried that, you had to give up your jar of candy, including the jelly beans.


But God's knocking, and you're thinking you'll pretend to be sick, or pretend to have plans, or... something. You'll answer it. So you do, and God's like, "Hi. I am."

And you're like, "You're what?"

And He's like, "Not what.. Who."




"Tired of living out of a mini-fridge yet?"

"...actually, I'm doing alright, I guess..."

"I see."

You feel funny when He says that.

"Do you want some food?"

"Sure... how much is it gonna be?"

"Oh, free! but you've gotta quit eating those jelly beans."

"What? Why?"

"Because they'll make you sick. Plus everything will taste better if you're a little hungry. Snacking can put you in denial, or even ignorance, of hunger, if ya know what I mean."

"Not really, but I'll take your Word for it... if you tell me what's for dinner."

"Imagine the best meal that the best team of the best chefs on earth could ever make, and then call it disgusting poison compared to what I have for you."

"I'm not buying it."

"It only costs your snacks."

"I'm enjoying my snacks."

"Suit yourself... see you later."

You feel funny when He says that, too.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

oh, and by the way,

God is amazing. I went to bed at 5a the night before last night, even though I knew I needed to get up at 9a or so for chapel. My alarm went off at 8:30a, but I turned it off and crawled back into bed, intending to shower after chapel (9:30a-10:15a) instead of before.

My phone rang at 8:43a. Who calls Isaiah at 8:43a? My roommate has a cell phone. "Nobody calls at 8:43a... *grumble grumble grumble*"

It turns out I was right. As soon as I picked up the phone, I heard a dial tone.


So then I was just staring at the phone wondering what the heck had happened, and I suddenly realized: "It's Wednesday." Wednesday means chapel starts at 10a, and class starts at 9a.

I had already missed class Monday. I would've missed class again. I went and found out instead of a C on that test, I got an 88%.

There's more God's done for me recently, but I just wanted to share that one, because it was cool. More posts to come.

a diet?

I seem to be doing this alot more, lately. I should probably try to cut down...

"You see, this is what I like to hear about. You're using your talent, and you're confident in it :P I had thought out a way of saying this while I was in class, but I forgot the wording :( " -Danny

LoL I'm confident in it when I'm alone!!! =D Hey, wanna go to FDC again this coming summer? It's cheaper for counselor-types, and by counselor-types I simply mean people willing to serve others.

"Hey, Singletines? I like. Sure I'll be your singletine. I really liked the heart-moon you had up for a while. Well, I wanted to stop by and say hello, and that although I don't get to spend much time onine anymore, I still read, though if I don't comment. People have been asking if I had died or something. lol. I'M ALIVE!!!!Yeah, so I just realized...have you seen my myspace, or anyone's for that matter?" -Jenihe

Oh my Gottschalks, it's Jenihe! and she's ALIVE!?!?!?!?!? ;)

=O Maybe even more amazing is that she agreed to be single with me. I never thought she and I were actually compatible, but I think we're going to be great apart together. =P Oh, and lemme mention Katie and Karen, too, who are also my singletines this year. *hugs for all* Anyone else who wants a singletine, leave a comment... I'm sure we can work out some sort of polycelibacy thing together.

Yea, I liked the heart-moon too... some people didn't appreciate it like MY OWN SISTER. But anyways, I'm deeply honored that you made time to comment. Yeah, I've seen your myspace, and I hear people talking about it... It's sad that they haven't yet realized the glories of Blogger, but oh, well. Someday Jesus will come back and tell them they were way off track.

"Isjami, I need your help, dude. If you look at my blog, the stuff on the right hand side is now waaaaay down at the bottom. I have no clue why. :S Help me out. Thanks.Christi...you know what would be really weird? It would be really weird if you were the Christi I know that goes to youth group at Hillcrest on Sunday nights...but then she wouldn't be going to a youth group on a Wednesday night, so. Yeah. Lol, sorry. Being a bit weird there." -Kevin

Hmmmmm... most likely a div problem, though I have to admit I haven't looked at the script yet. *blush* Try removing your music script. I did notice when I checked that code that it was inside div tags... right? Try removing that, and if it works, I'll show you how to embed without using another div.

"Hey Isaiah! :) And you are both right and wrong. I actually have (believe it or not) run past your site before by clicking the random button, but I was in a hurry then, so I didn't post. And then, this last time, I did find your page again through Caleb's, which I found from AlaskIsaiah's. :p What a small world! :D Anyway, I think I will read though some of the others! :) I have a few hours to kill before yg.. :p My prayers are with you Isaiah! God bless muchly!"

Wow... connecting points galore. So you don't know Caleb, really? But you know Belty? That is so weird, that you ended up here. What's even cooler is, I was reading Caleb's blog one day, and I noticed your comment and clicked on your name and checked your site. After that I did something else, and later on when you commented here I was like, "FadingFlower??? I've seen that before, dangit!!!" and it took you mentioning Caleb for me to remember.

Yeah, totally... read some other stuff, maybe random, maybe recommended (points to the right), and maybe even comment. I think I got pretty lucky with which person ended up here. Thanks times fourteen for your 'thumbs up's. =D

"God's Shekinah departed from Israel around the same time when the Ark of the Covenenat was captured. The two sons of Eli were both spiritually corrupt, and defiled the sacrifice. The real problem was Eli, he failed to "restrain" the two priests. These two priest led the Ark into procession for war with the Philistines. The Ark is captured, Eli heard the news, and fell over dead, an obese man. The whole family had a problem with glutony.They were eating portions of the sacrifice that was not prescribed in the written law." -schmirkzeesteinberg

Man, this is so confusing... is this Dad? or Phillip? because the last comment schmirkzeewhatsit left mentioned alternate universes or something... by the way, notice "uni-verse," "one-Word."

I know that Dad is very familiar with that story about Eli's sons, and with the story of Israel and how the Philistines (?) captured it and then they were cursed and had to send it back and all that. Is that the same story?

~ ~ ~

Hey, while I'm remembering... Anyone who likes to tell stories, role-play (pretend to be someone else), write creatively, or do other cool stuff that relates to that, I'm calling you all together for the chance to write a story. I dunno what it'll be about yet, but there will probably be dragons. Also, it'll probably involve saving/destroying the world, making friends with fire and water, and wielding weapons you've probably never heard of.


My d&d is showing... time to end the post.


God's here.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005


the Bloggering and "a thousand words" (not "home of the wind," sorry!) have both been updated, if anyone is bored.

"Get a job. You seem to have a lot of time on your hands." -...concerned party..

Whoever the anymouse is needs to identify itself immediately. Yeah, that's right, you heard me... itself. I hereby strip you of all rights to gender recognition until your personal AKA is revealed to us.


Hey Isaiah! :) I was searching through random blogs and found yours, and I was bored so I just read everything posted on the main page, lol. It's funny because you sound a lot like me in some ways, and it was really encouraging to see some of your answers to stuff you're/I'm struggling with. I hope that I can start to overcome it as it seems you have. :)

Anyway, thanks again, and God bless you muchly!

In Him,

You're scaring me, Christi. Please tell me you found my blog through Caleb's... because if you were just like "oh, I'll click this 'Next Blog' button and you found mine, then I'll have to explain my coincidence theory to everyone again.

Oh, wait... that's not a bad thing. =)

All I can say is, welks, and God is blessing me muchly. Oh, and I can also say that if you liked anything on the main page, you will probably also enjoy the posts under "Posts of the Months" on the right, there.

Thanks for the comments!! (that would include the one on moon-bathing!)

"What are those little creepy things up there..? They give me chills." -Reelika

LoL I should've guessed you'd never seen candy hearts before. You can buy little boxes of them, write someone's name on it, and give it to your Valentine. It's just our culture's way of sending two-dozen confusing and conflicting romantic messages to someone without getting in trouble for it.

"Except its really called Single's Awareness Day. OMFG, double post because I hit Shift+1..." ~D

Uhm. I'm pretty aware already, without anyone celebrating the wonderful break-up I'm going through. Why don't we drop the awareness part and just call it Singletine's Day? It can be about friendship instead of romance. lol and btw, I have no idea what shift+1 does or why.

"Man, your life is interesting and fun.Mine involves sitting in my room playing World of Warcraft the entire weekend. Yay." ~D

Interesting and fun? Well, some things are. Other things are disgusting and painful. Rest assured, I have known (and currently know) pain, fun, boredom, WoW, dead weekends, and other stuff like that. If anything else fits into such a weird, random list.

"::notices heart-moon::-.- weow weow" -Fred

I'll have you know that four out five dentists agree, my heart-moon was freaking awesome. (ahdi vaddy doy day, awdi vady dodi veedy vee...)

"awww...i want larry to come out and sing too! now i am sad." -Karen

I tried to find a good pic of Larry in a black leather jacket so he could do a little moonbathing, but my laptop's been less than cooperative lately. sowwy.

"Wanna know another crazy food combo? If you eat hot cheetos and cherry coke right around 8:30 in the morning, it tastes just like coffee. I learned that hot little tidbit of info in eighth grade. The things you learn in junior high. The good old days. Wait, that could be a poem. I'm a poet and I didn't even realize it... ah shoot!" -Evan

That's disgusting. I don't even like coffee! and where the heck is the poem in there?

Man, I thought I had more than that, but... oh, well. I'll just list some ideas I have that are almost ready to spill out onto my blog.

I've been thinking more about coincidences (magic tricks), and how they relate to the statement "All things happen for a reason." I believe all effects have causes, but I do not believe that they all have purpose. Sentient creatures have purposes, and there's more stuff happening in the world than just the fulfillment or failure of active intentions. More on this, tonight at 10. (not really.)

I forgot what else I've been thinking about. It'll come to me.

I Love you. You know who you are.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Happy Singletine's Day!

"You keep Valentine's Day in your way, and let me keep it in mine. Bah! Humbug!"

That's right. Isaianezer Scrooge. Down with Valentine's Day... Up with Singletine's Day! Okay, just kidding, I won't be a Scrooge. There's just one thing I don't get, though. Do I get to ask people to be my Singletines? How does that work, being single yet many?

Whatever. I might as well. =)

Danny, Eli, Jesse, Evan, Bixler kids, Jenihe, Katie, Kevin, Jolynn, Reelika, Alicia, and others... will you be my Singletines?

A special greeting to Leah Grace Micu. You'd make a great Valentine.

Oh, and one tiny little thing I almost forgot. Llaura, Happy Valentine's Day. Check my picture blog (link at top right).

Sunday, February 13, 2005

and for His next trick...

...one thousand six hundred fifty-three dollars and seventy-one cents.

In my pocket.

Yes, you heard that right. In my pocketses. Oh, and did I mention I used the very last of my money yesterday night? Mm-hm. My wallet is empty right now. I doubt that it will be empty tomorrow, though.

And by the way, NMCC said they always need more child care workers. Everyone was really friendly, and I'm going to be making $9.50/hr. every Thursday night, if nearly all goes well.

"But Isaiah... you just said 'nearly all.' What happens if ALL of all goes well?"

Hm, what? Oh. Yeah, another $12/hr every Thursday afternoon.

"Now, Isaiah, you know that that $1,653.71 is the extra leftovers from the loan money."

Oh, pish-posh. I've been eyeing this new home entertainment system at Circuit City for like five years now, plus I have this old Harriet Carter magazine thing that I've been keeping under my pillow at night for seeeecret reeeading!

(Nobody freak out, it's like a failed inventions catalogue.)

"Izayer, this is Dad. I'm going to call you right now and tell you exactly what to do with that money, which is don't nobody touch nothing!!!"



What else happened today... hmm. Nothing, I believe. Oh, last night three guys went through the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th floors of our dorm building and removed all the shower heads. Fortunately, when I finished STOMPing and went to shower at like 1:30a, I found the pieces scattered on the tiles, so I was able to fix mine. Only two others on our floor were that lucky.

In other news last night, O.o what? weird phrase... oh, well. In other news last night, the girls' fire alarm went off AGAIN. It was like the 7th time this semester. Last time I got to watch like a 20-minute-long chewing out. This time, I was watching out the window (and some girls were pointing and giggling and waving, which really weirded me out), but instead of a speech, all the guy said was, "When we find out who's doing this, that person is adios, out of here."

Man. I was really looking forward to the speech.

I'm sleepy. Leave a comment.

prayer request

It is somewhat baffling, and definitely disorienting, to be asking this, but I think it's something I need. It's so weird, borderline ridiculous, yet it won't go away. I find it somewhat tickling.

God, please teach me chivalry.

life's lessons

Note to Self #2: A clear voice is not the only physiological result of consuming an entire bag of spicy calamari (and a caramel snow bubble) by oneself. No thank-you to the Dad genes. =P

Go tell Jesse how cool his blog looks.

Saturday, February 12, 2005

a dubbing

My voice is amazing right now. I'm hitting notes like magic. (Note to self: always get the caramel snow bubble and the spicy calamari.)

Many eProps to whoever reads old posts in addition to the newest one. I still have Gmail invites!

By the way, Squammy... I hear you're boycotting Amtrak. Sad day. I hope you'll hear me out about this one:

As I said in the story (last one under "posts of the months" on your right), I heard every stop called EXCEPT Irvine. Every last one. The only way I could have missed my stop was the one way God chose to take me, and obviously for a wonderful reason. To say Amtrak messed up would be to say Uncle Larry messed up... it just wouldn't work. Uncle Larry didn't know there were two stations in San Clemente, and Amtrak didn't know that God was going to hoodwink and/or hornswoggle one of their passengers in order to accomplish His amazing, fascinating, overruling will.

You should've seen Uncle Larry. Heck, I should have seen him, walking up and down the beach past midnight shouting a Jewish name. He was so happy to finally find me. I told Hannah tonight that he was shining like Mama Pat does.

The truth is, that Amtrak trip was totally sweet. I would do it all over again for Sarah (for God). And I would pay for it myself. ;) Of course, I'm broke right now, so... hey, that reminds me. I spent like $15 or $20 on new sandals, because my old ones snapped on the way to the bank. Think you could maybe send me a *mutter mumble whisper* hehehe yaknowwhatah'msayin??!

EDIT: I have just been dubbed the master of shadow and enlightenment, by the one who calls himself the keeper of the life of the dead. Check him out.


I see myself
seated on the throne
the saaaaalteeeeed
squid that I ate
makes the banos so stiiiiiinkyyyyyyy,

and the whoooole hoooole is fiiiiilled
and the whoooole hoooole is fiiiiilled
and the whoooole hoooole is fiiiiilled
with calamaaaaaaaariiiiiiii

Ah, the good old days. I just went to Burger King for a Whopper Jr. Cheese with onion rings, and then to Tapioca Express for a Caramel Snow Bubble with brown sugar boba, and the crowning glory, the piece de resistance (whatever that means), the spicy salt and pepper calamari.



Stolen amazing strawberry pop-tarts taste like peanut butter when you eat them with filtered refridgerated water instead of 2% milk.

This is going to be one of those posts that just has not-deep stuff in it, like what I did yesterday and that kind of crap. =) I know. You're like, "Whew! He's finally coming back to the surface for a breath of fresh chitter-chatter."

Dang... an analogy. Oopsie-poo.

Yesterday (Friday) I went to bed at 5:20a, got up at 8:20a, C'ed my first World Civ exam, went back to sleep around 10a, and got up at 12p to go to lunch. Then I pretty much played my flute and sang for several hours. Then I did some Photoshop-ing. Then I put my STOMP dvd in, picked up Bill the Amazing's 10-lb. weights, and danced.

I've never really danced before. I took hip-hop last semester, and I bob my head to smooth jazz... but that was my first dance. The closest I've come to dancing before that was sparring, which is really interesting, because what I really wanted to do last night was spar again. I have no boffers and no opponents here, though, and the Dagorhir guild is too far away for me to hang out with.

The other thing is, I decided not to get a pass to the gym. I don't have $20 to pay for the pass. =) So now I have to find an alternate way to work out and exercise. I do not want to come back to Fresno looking and feeling and fighting like a marshmallow.

Apparently it worked, because I am sore from head to toe today. I didn't even have the confidence to jump out of my top bunk this morning. I had to climb down. O_O

Actually, I hadn't even intended to dance when I put STOMP in. I was just going to watch it because I was bored. But I had energy, and the music sounded cool, so... yeah. I think I tried to spar-dance-work-out-exercise.

So far the only effect is soreness. =

Went to bed around 3a this morning (last night), woke up around 11a, and now I'm blogging. And writing letters. And listening to the Newsboys (Entertaining Angels).

Oh, and eating stolen food. =)

Friday, February 11, 2005

an answer

I shout, and silence echoes;
I whisper, 'here i stand.'

This time, I whispered, and my echo became music. Sometimes it takes weeks for the echo to reach you. I can't figure out if distance has anything to do with it. Some days I sing a few notes from just a few feet away, and they take weeks to bounce off the canyon wall and come back to me. Other days, I feel miles away, and my voice returns before I've finished speaking.

I wish I could sing with you all.

I was up till 5:20a, and never finished the studying I started. I think I got a C on the test I took today.

Llaura's voice made me shake. The temperature in here was fine until I received an e-mail saying, "um... i wanna talk to you.." and then it went from about 75F to about 60F. But then she called me, and we talked until 4a. I stopped shivering. I wrote to her until 5:20a. Then I slept for three hours and took my first World Civ exam. I actually studied for the multiple choice, but not for the essay. Stupid essay. I got to class 10 minutes late, by the way, but I was like the fourth one out, out of about 35 or 40. That would kind of make sense, except that I actually did write alot for the essay. I just didn't put much into my words. I hate doing that. Feels really unnatural.

But about Llaura. I just wanna say that she's still... she's still... she makes me...

Is she still Llaura? Yes, and no. Llaura, if you're reading this, know that your world, your life, is three things: what God does, what you make happen, and what happens to you. Those three things weave together in a very complicated way sometimes... but strive for the first of them, and the other threads will be woven in at the right time and place.

If you're wondering what's going on with us, here it is: God is telling me to just stay next to Him as He moves, and to wait for His plan to emerge. God is telling her to seek Him, and even to help others seek Him. God is making sure I remember Him, her, and her family, every day. He's also been answering some prayers, which are the echoes returning.

LoL It's funny. Sometimes I beg God to give me a sign of what's going to happen, and instead He gives me a sign that He Is, and I'm like, "but you didn't- I don't- ... alright, alright. I get your point." And then it's just more waiting. I am going to be the patient-est, strongest, tenderest man in all of somewhere-land by the time God delivers me.

She still makes my heart race. And I still make her cry. I suppose either can be bad or good.

Ghost, Harry Potter is weird. ;)

Thursday, February 10, 2005

the Bloggering

kinda catchy, huh? =) this is basically a blog gallery, except it's not limited to blogs. even though blogger is the supreme best, some people opt for xanga, livejournal, and other strange and lesser alternatives.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...


...the Bloggering.

(actually, now that I look at it, it kinda looks like a British curse word... or else something out of that weird Harry Potter series...)


Alright, people. This is either the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song, or it's the part where I respond to a bunch of comments all at once. Sequentially.

"ok, so, um....i live on the other side of the world and was randomly looking at people's blogs. Actually linked to your site from this guy kevin, i think it was. Anywho, say this thingy about gmail and i have to admit....I haven't a clue as to what that is all about. Can you fill me in? :) (: thanks!" -Davida

Well, Davida... as you know, the morning routine is the most important routine of the day. The 'r' in routine stands for "click on the 'wow!' link at the right, because I added some explanatory content to the post about gmail."


"here's one for the list: we were given both feelings and intellect in great abundance. where is it ok to say that because you 'feel' something about God then its true. Does everything have to be intellectually provable for it to be 'true'?" -anonymous

One for the list, eh, anymouse? Well, first of all, anonymous posts are just begging for some delete-y goodness. You get no color. =P

Second of all, that is EXACTLY my problem. That's why I am so desperate to understand the bible, and that's why I am majoring in religion. Out of all the things I could study and master, the Word is the most important, the most practical, the most applicable, and the most attractive. If nothing else, I know that the Word is truth, and that God's kingdom is life's most worthy pursuit.

"Phillip is back from no where specific. Unlike a nerd I have not looked at your blogger lately or even looked at my blogger lately. I need some helpful hints on putting a ship on my blogger. Things are going well with me. My wierdo wife is close to be out of my life. I am back in school, thinking about a new career. I am thinking about volunteering at a hospital. Just like Forrest Gump....following the feather." -Phillip

I love that analogy, and how you just kind of throw it out there like: "oh and by the way, success is like Forrest's feather. I'm amazing." I know you didn't say that, but it totally says that when you say that without saying that. Welcome back, and I will be happy to post a little sum'n sum'n about CSS and sailing and blogs, and how those three can be reconciled unto one another. Therewith.

"Well, the chat box has disappeared, so I'll say it here: I love the song you have playing! It's awesome.I'm a little perplexed as to how you could confuse either storms and God's blessings, or you messing yourself up and God's blessings." -Kevin

Kerrick, I have to say... Mercy Me is the greatest. Favorite band, easily. This is their music. "I Can Only Imagine" is my favorite song of all time. I'm sure you've heard it before.

As for storms and me messing up and God's blessings, check this out: the disciples experienced storms on the sea of Galilee that were probably linked to the demon-worship that went on on the eastern side of the sea. The fool of Proverbs messes himself up all the time by being foolish. According to Jesus, God sends rain on the just and the unjust.

Now, a literal storm could fit into any of those categories. Peter might be afraid of drowning (because of demonic activity), the fool might build his house on the sand (and the storm will wash it away), and God might send you through the most painful experience of your life (in order to bring you closer to Him than ever before).

So the question is: where did this storm come from, and what should be my response to it?

"Dude, I just clicked the link to go to the January 2003 archive, and saw these songs. This song you guys wrote, it's awesome! Who's singing?" -Kevin

Nobody. In fact, that post doesn't exist. January 2003? I dunno what you're talking about. Anybody else see January 2003 anywhere???

Nope. Sorry, man.

"i'm having the same trouble, but i'm finding that the problem is that i'm not quite trying hard enough. lots can be said about a schedule that's too full, not enough time, etc. then i find that most of the time is me making an effort to make excuses as to why i'm so stupid and don't realize that God speaks in the still, small quiet voice of the wind. i figure it, if God's worth it, people (in general) are worth it.

'Be still and know I am God.'

Learning confidence is quite trying.

Hope we can meet sometime." -Karen

For me, it's having too much to possibly do... but I'll post about that later. I've had that same problem of not trying, though, and of being selfish with my time. People sometimes think of 'selfish' as a strong word, but to me it just means focusing on yourself... at all.

I also hope we can meet... and I hope that verse in Psalms becomes a reality in your life.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

random thought

seems like the relationships i put the most effort into are the ones that fail. how much in my life is just storms, how much is God blessing me, and how much is me messing myself up? if i could just distinguish between those three things, and learn to identify which situations fit where, i could live life confidently.

by the way, Reelika is an awesome source of quotes, because even though English is not her first language, she chooses her words very carefully, thus she is a good communicator.

"The only thing that I have found is that i am here for only to mate and give little offsprings." -Reelika

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

The Cloak

I'm actually referring to my sister's. Check out her xanga. It has some GREAT cloak stories from camp.


I told my hallmate Jesse the cloak stories, and he said, somewhat nervously, "Is your whole family like that?"

"Like what?" I asked, smiling.

"...like you."


My apologies once again. This post is for me. It's something I need.

Questions for Professor Dogterom
  • With all the varied instructions about prayer, what and who should I be praying for, and why?
  • With all the varied ways of worshipping God, how do my feelings and thoughts fit in? What part should music play? How should I be worshipping when I sing?
  • What would happen to a person if they only took in the Word in a devotional manner?
  • What would happen to a person if they only took in the Word in a hermeneutical manner?
  • Is Christianity meant to answer my questions, or redefine them? Does God promise answers to my deepest questions, in this life?
  • How is the Holy Spirit supposed to work in my life? What are some actual examples of the Spirit's work?
  • How does divine intervention work? Does God actually change the way things happen in order to accomplish His purpose in the lives of people?
  • How can I live life the right way if I can't understand the Word? Can I understand the Word without studying it?
  • What should I do with my religion major?

Questions for God

  • What, specifically, am I supposed to do tomorrow morning when I wake up?
  • Do my feelings about You, good and bad, indicate a lack (or abundance) of faith? What are some ways that I can love You with my actions? What am I supposed to feel as a result of my faith?
  • Is it possible to thank You for blessings, without feeling any gratitude?
  • Does any relative truth exist? If so, where is the line between absolutes and relativisms, and how can I find it? or how am I supposed to define it?
  • Do I think too much?
  • How do I know the difference between a good thing happening to me, and a blessing from You?
  • Should I thank You for the good things that happen to me that You aren't responsible for, if such things exist?
  • Should I keep holding on, or move on?


First, I'd like to say sorry to those of you who have dial-up connections.

=( Sad day.

Secondly, I'd like to say sorry because my emo is showing. ;) Look, I know I said I like to blog stuff that people enjoy reading, but once in awhile I have to blog for myself.

This is one of those onces in a whileses.

Lost and all alone
I always thought that I could make it on my own
Since you left I hardly make it through the day
My tears get in the way
And I need you back to stay

I wander through the night
And search the world to find
The words to make it right
All I want is just the way it used to be
With you here close to me
I've got to make you see

That I'm lost without your love
Life without you isn't worth the trouble of
I'm as helpless as a ship without a wheel
A touch without a feel
I can't believe it's real...

And someday soon I'll wake
And find my heart won't have to break

Yes I'm lost without your love
Life without you isn't worth the trouble of
All I want is just the way it used to be
I need you here with me
Oh darlin' can't you see...
If we had love before
We can have it back once more

Please allow me to reassure you that these lyrics primarily reflect my feelings, not my thoughts or beliefs.

Make sure you comment on the post below if you want in on the blog gallery. (Some of you are going to be on there whether you ask or not... lol)

Monday, February 07, 2005

magic tricks

This is an [edited] excerpt from a letter I wrote to Llaura. I called this section "coincidences."

These scare me. They didn't used to scare me, but they do now, because I have seen too many "just-so-happenings" to believe that they're not orchestrated.

Coincidences are like magic tricks. You see one happen, and your initial reaction is, "Wow, that's pretty cool..." but then you think about it and say to yourself, "Of course there's a logical explanation. It's really not all that amazing."

Example: I blindfold myself. I tell you to pick a card. You take it out, and memorize it, and show it to your dog. Your dog slobbers on it. I tell you to wipe that crap off then put the card back in. I'm still blindfolded. I tap the deck of cards on the table, and voila...

...the entire deck turns into a green pigeon that promptly pecks you on the nose and flies out the window. And you're like, "I'M GONNA KILL THAT FOOFING BIRD!!!" But then you calm down. But then you get excited again because that was a-maaay-ziiiing! And then I tell you I caught the pigeon just outside the cafeteria the other day and used the leftover mashed green beans to dye its feathers, and then I tranquilized it and hid it in my sleeve, all so I could show you a cheap magic trick.

Okay, so maybe it's not very amazing, if you know how it's done. But how often do you figure out exactly how a coincidence occurred? What were all the factors involved in me being ready to tell Sadopa some great stories that touched her? My emotions, certainly, and my loneliness, and me being in that Foundations of Christian Life class for a semester, and God taking the initiative in my life ever since I was first conceived (before that, actually), but what about all the events that caused those things?

I told you once about the pattern of reality, how a seemingly insignificant action or decision can cause millions of things to change. You take one tiny turn, and a year later you look back and see that that one turn brought you into a whole new realm of possiblities, and out of those possibilities, certain ones became reality because of subsequent 'turns.'

Another example: You get thirsty because the weather is hot because of a warm front that moved in because of some wind patterns or something, and so you buy a drink (at a store which you happened to be passing by because you were on your way to school because your parents can afford a good school because they got good jobs), and when you finish the drink, you accidentally drop your empty glass bottle on the road somewhere. you're feeling like crap because your chihuahua died yesterday, so you just leave the glass there. A car runs over it and shatters it, another car pops a tire on the broken glass, someone dies in a car accident (sorry if this has actually happened to someone close to you). And that death, of course, changes the lives of dozens of people, and the lives of those people affect the lives of dozens more, and so on and so forth.

All because you got thirsty. Sort of.

That's an extreme and simplistic example, of course, but here is the second part to that theory. Just as all your actions, big and small, determine the range of subsequent possibilites, a range of actions (big and small) can lead down to a single point again.

Visual aid time!

The black dot furthest to the left is a small choice, a seemingly insignificant event. Like doing a Google search for colleges and clicking on Vanguard just because it's a Christian college in California.

The black dots in between are all the choices you make afterwards, that have been affected by that first choice. You couldn't get to the ones in the middle without that first dot. This is the choice-consequence theory thing we've discussed before.

The last black dot is something huge, like Sadopa responding (in her own way, to the right degree, and in the right way) to God's message. Not only can a single choice have many many results that effect many many results of their own (both significant and insignificant), but also it's true that many results and choices can lead back down into a single result of great significance. And of course we never would have foreseen this from our place on the first black dot. God can bring miraculous surprises out of something that, to us, might seem like a chaotic mess of mistakes and unimportant events.

I love those big black dots. I don't have to know every step, yet as I make choices obedient to God's calling, seeking His will in His Word and in my life, He leads me to it. They just so happen.

Read the book of Ruth if you like "it-just-so-happened" stories. Oh, and by the way, if you want to see some magic tricks done, or if you want to find out more about the Magician, let me know. I'm an open book to those of you who are brave and patient enough to read. (And it goes both ways, by the way. I love to listen to other people's stories.)

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Public Service Announcement #2

Apparently, some people do not know why I blog, or how I blog. I'm about to explain it to you, and one of you needs to listen very carefully, as if you were reading a difficult, time-consuming homework assignment (due in 2 hours) that you didn't understand. ;)

I blog because...
  • I love to write.
  • I love to tell people who I am.
  • I love to find out who I am.
  • I love to tell stories.
  • I love to stir or touch or move people.
  • I love to make people really think.
  • I love to receive feedback about myself and my writing.
  • I love to know that there are people listening.
  • I'm a much better communicator online than in person.
  • I love working with (especially designing stuff with) computers.
  • I love how I can say what I want to say once.
  • Ideas I want to share stay in my head, in goopy soup-form, until I write them out.

When I blog, I... usually...

  • am aware of my audience.
  • am aware of my words. (wow, surprise for some of you!)
  • am aware of my thoughts, even if I don't understand them.
  • am aware of my feelings, though I only rarely understand them.
  • am in one of my favorite places.
  • am longing to stir or touch or move people.
  • am trying to make people really think.
  • am real.
  • am being passionate, honest and sincere with how I express myself.
  • am wondering what you are going to think when you read it.
  • am a perfectionist.
  • am thinking about what you want to hear.
  • am thinking about what you need to hear.
  • am thinking about what I want to say.
  • am thinking about what I need to say.
  • am expressing how deeply I care about life, that I would take time to do this.

I could think of more, but I think I'd be stretching the post in an uncomfortable way, if I did so.

By the way, I'm thinking about creating another blog that lists the blogs/xangas/livejournals of friends of mine. It would be like my picture gallery (link at top-right), only it would be a blog gallery. If this makes you smile or say 'hmm...' then you can comment below, and leave a link to your thingy if you want to be on the list.

And lastly: a warm welcome to anyone reading this whom I do not yet know personally, including Lily and Bobert, and Dad's friend Phillip. (Phil, I know you already- can I call you Phil?- already got a welcome, but you're getting another one, because I haven't heard from you recently.)

Sweet realities.

Saturday, February 05, 2005


Suddenly I have 50 invites to Gmail, so get them while they're hot. =) Just leave a comment, and your e-mail address. Or you can e-mail me (info at the right).

By the way, if you're thinking, "Uhm... what?" Gmail is an e-mail provider owned by Google. It's like Hotmail, except it's BETTER. It's probably the best internet-based e-mail service out there. It's in beta stage right now, which means they're testing it and stuff. That's why you can only sign up via invitations.

So if you're sick of spam, sick of Hotmail, sick of Yahoo!, or if you want to be able to check your e-mail from any internet-enabled computer in the world, or if you'd like a mailbox with 1,000 megabytes of storage and no limit to your attachment file-size... then this is for you. I'll need your e-mail address, though. You don't have to put it in your comment, but you can e-mail me.

Lies, all of them!!!

Too bad it's not the 17th. Hi, Keith! Please note: the title of this post is somewhat of an inside joke. Apologies to those who were not there on the 17th. =)

Here's some GREAT STUFF from a great website. It originally came from a Great Book. It's a Great Story. It's got all that great-y goodness that great and good things have.

(Man, I'm so good with words... just look at that great and good vocabulary. Isn't it good and great?)

The Honeymoon Is Over: The Story of Adam and Eve
by Richard L. Strauss

Honeymoons are delightful times. The word itself virtually drips with the freshness and excitement of young love. The term seems to have been coined to convey the idea that the first moon, or first month, of marriage is the sweetest and most satisfying. But that's not exactly the way it ought to be. God would be pleased for our marriages to get better as time passes. Every new month should be sweeter and more satisfying than the one before. Unfortunately, some marriages have turned out just as the word honeymoon implies-the first month was the best, and everything has gone downhill from there. Maybe we can help reverse the trend by looking into the Word of God.

The Scripture does not specifically say so, but I have a feeling the honeymoon lasted much longer than a month for Adam and Eve.

Only God knows how many months or years of pure ecstasy lie between chapters two and three of Genesis. But no human relationship ever surpassed theirs in those early days for sheer joy and rapturous delight. It was, without a doubt, the perfect marriage.

Consider it for a moment. If ever a marriage was made in heaven, this one was. It was perfectly planned and perfectly performed by a perfect God. First he sculptured Adam (Gen. 2:7). Molded by the Master Maker, Adam doubtless had a flawless physique and ruggedly handsome features. And he was made in God's own image (Gen. 1:27). That means he had a Godlike personality-perfect intellect, emotions, and will. He possessed a brilliant mind, undiminished by sin. He had faultless emotions, including tender and totally unselfish love, the love of God Himself. And he had a will that was in complete harmony with the purposes of his creator. Women, wouldn't you like to have a man like that? Physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually perfect!

But let me tell you about Eve. "So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh at that place. And the Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man" (Gen. 2:21, 22). Adam must have gazed at Eve with awe and appreciation. This was God's creative genius at its best, unblemished grace and beauty, pure loveliness of face and form. Fashioned by the hand of God Himself, Eve had to be the most gorgeous creature who ever walked the face of the earth. And like Adam, she was made in God's image. Her mind, emotions, and will were unaffected by sin. What man wouldn't go for a woman like that?

Adam immediately recognized her similarity to himself. He said, "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man" (Gen. 2:23). It seems that without any special revelation from God, Adam instinctively knew that Eve was made from him; she was part of him; she was his equal; she was his complement and counterpart. He called her woman, "female man." He drew her to himself in tender love. She ended his biting loneliness and filled his life with happiness. She was just exactly what he needed. And nothing brought her more satisfaction than the assurance that her husband needed her so very much. What intense and indescribable pleasure they found in each other's company! How they loved one another!

Their home was located in Eden, the perfect place (Gen. 2:8). The word Eden means "delight," and delightful it was. Well-watered at the fountainhead of four rivers, Eden was a luscious green paradise, blanketed with every beautiful and edible growing thing (Gen. 2:9, 10). They cultivated the ground, but as they had no thistles or weeds to contend with, their work was totally effortless and enjoyable. Side by side they lived and labored in perfect harmony, sharing a sense of mutual interdependence, enjoying a freedom of communion and communication, possessing a deep-flowing affection that bound their spirits to each other. They were inseparable.

Oh, there was an order of authority in their relationship. Adam was formed first, then Eve, as the Apostle Paul was careful to mention (1 Tim. 2:13). And Eve was made for Adam, not Adam for Eve, as Paul also pointed out (1 Cor. 11:9). But she was his helper (Gen. 2:18), and in order to be an effective helper she had to share all of life with him. She was with him when God issued the command to subdue the earth and have dominion over it and, consequently, she shared that awesome responsibility equally with her husband (Gen. 1:28). She did everything a helper would be expected to do. She assisted him, encouraged him, advised him, and inspired him, and she did it with a spirit of sweet submissiveness. Adam never resented her help, not even her advice. After all, that is why God gave her to him. Neither did she resent his leadership. His attitude was never tainted with superiority or exploitation. How could it be? His love was perfect. She was someone special to him and he treated her as such.

He could not give of himself enough to express his gratitude to her, and he never had a thought about what he was receiving in return. She could not possibly resent leadership like that.

The Word of God says, "And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed" (Gen. 2:25). It was a relationship of perfect purity and innocence. There was no sin in them. There was no strife between them. They were at peace with God, at peace with themselves, and at peace with each other. This was truly the perfect marriage. This was paradise. How we wish it would have lasted, that we could experience the same degree of marital bliss they enjoyed in those glorious days. But something happened.

The biblical account brings us, secondly, to the entrance of sin. There is no doubt that the subtle tempter who approached Eve in this episode was Satan using the body of a serpent as his instrument (cf. Rev. 12:9). His first approach was to question the Word of God. "Indeed, has God said, 'You shall not eat from any tree of the garden?'" (Gen. 3:1). After he questioned God's Word, he flatly denied it: "You surely shall not die!" he dogmatically declared (Gen. 3:4). Finally, he ridiculed God and brazenly distorted His Word: "For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil" (Gen. 3:5). They would know evil all right, but they would not be as God. In reality the very opposite would be true. The likeness to God they did enjoy would be scarred and spoiled. Satan's methods have not changed much through the centuries. We know them well-the doubts, the distortions, the denials. Yet we too fall prey to them. We can identify with Eve in her moment of weakness. We know what it is to yield to temptation.

Satan used the tree of the knowledge of good and evil to do his sinister work. God had placed that tree in the garden to be the symbol of Adam and Eve's submission to Him (Gen. 2:17), but Satan sometimes uses even good things to lure us from God's will. "When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate" (Gen. 3:6). Have you noticed that Eve was tempted in all three major areas listed in 1 John 2:16? (1) The lust of the flesh-"good for food." (2) The lust of the eyes-"a delight to the eyes." (3) The pride of life-"to make one wise." These are the same major areas Satan uses to get us out of sorts with God and with each other-the desire to gratify our physical senses, the desire to have material things, and the desire to impress people with our importance.

Instead of fleeing from temptation as the Scriptures later exhort us to do, Eve flirted with it. She had everything a person could want in life, but she stood there and allowed her mind to meditate on the one thing she did not have until it became an obsession with her and brought her happy honeymoon to an unhappy termination. That same kind of vicious greed has ended many a honeymoon since. Husbands sometimes squander grocery money on recreational equipment, hobbies, cars, or clothes. Wives sometimes drive their husbands to make more money so they can have bigger, better, and more expensive things. And the material possessions of this world drive a wedge between them. When we allow our minds to covet material things, God calls it idolatry (Col. 3:5). And He pleads with us to run from it: "Wherefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry" (1 Cor. 10:14).

Eve did not flee. "She took from its fruit and ate" (Gen. 3:6). The text is not clear, but the words "gave also to her husband with her" might imply that Adam watched her do it. We have no idea why he did not try to stop her, or why he did not refuse to follow her in her sin. But we do know that he failed her woefully on this occasion. He neglected to provide the spiritual leadership God wanted him to provide, and instead he let her lead him into sin. What a powerful influence a woman has over her man! She can use it to challenge him to new heights of spiritual accomplishment, or she can use it to drag him to depths of shame. God gave Eve to Adam to be his helper, but her covetous heart destroyed him.

Together they waited for the new delights of divine wisdom Satan had promised them. Instead, a horrid sense of guilt and shame crept over them. Their spirits died at that very moment (Gen. 2:17), and their physical bodies began the slow process of decay that would mar God's beautiful handiwork and end ultimately in physical death. The Apostle Paul was speaking of physical death when he said, "Therefore, just as through one man sin entered into the world, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men, because all sinned" (Rom. 5:12). That's the way it is with sin. It promises so much and delivers so little. It promises freedom, wisdom, and pleasure, but it delivers bondage, guilt, shame, and death.

Suddenly their nakedness became symbolic of their sin (Gen. 3:7). It exposed them openly to the penetrating eyes of the most holy God. They tried to cover their bodies with fig leaves, but it was not acceptable. God would later reveal that the only adequate covering for sin would involve the shedding of blood (Gen. 3:21; Lev. 17:11; Heb. 9:22).

That brings us, finally, to the painful aftermath. Sin is accompanied by disastrous consequences whether or not we are willing to accept the blame for it. Adam blamed his part of the tragedy on Eve and God: "The woman whom Thou gavest to be with me, she gave me from the tree, and I ate" (Gen. 3:12). Eve said the devil made her do it (Gen. 3:13). In much the same way, we may try to blame our marital problems on someone else. "If she would only stop nagging I could ..." "If he would only be more considerate I could ..." But God held them both responsible, just as he holds each of us responsible for our part of the blame. And there is usually some blame on both sides. God wants us to face it squarely, not skirt around it.

The consequences were almost more than Adam and Eve could bear. For Eve, the pain of childbirth would be a recurring reminder of her sin. In addition to that, she would experience an insatiable yearning for her husband, a piercing desire for his time, his attention, his affection, and his assurance. Her need would be so great, her sinful husband would seldom be willing to meet it.

And finally, the authority Adam possessed over Eve from creation was strengthened by the word rule. "And he shall rule over you" (Gen. 3:16). In the hands of a sinful man, that rule would degenerate at times to harsh and heartless domination over her-disregard for her feelings and disdain for her opinions. Eve no doubt chafed grudgingly under the sting of her sin as Adam drifted farther from her, paid less attention to her, and became preoccupied with other things. Bitterness, resentment, and rebellion began to settle in her soul.

For Adam, cultivating the ground became an endless, tedious chore. Anxiety over his ability to provide for his family added to his agitation and irritability and made him less sympathetic to his wife's needs. As a result, conflict entered their home. Sin always brings tension, strife, and conflict. And never was that more painfully obvious to Adam and Eve than when they stood beside the first grave in human history. Their second son had lost his life in an ugly family squabble. The honeymoon was over!

This would be the saddest story ever told were it not for a glorious ray of hope by which God illuminated the darkness. Speaking to Satan he said, "And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed and her seed; He shall bruise you on the head, and you shall bruise him on the heel" (Gen. 3:15). God promised that the seed of the woman, a child born into the human race, would destroy the works of the devil, including the havoc he had made of the home. This is the first biblical prophecy of the coming Redeemer. And now He has come! He has died for the sins of the world. His perfect blood is a satisfactory covering for the sins of every human being who will trust him. He offers to forgive us freely and restore us to His favor. And He makes available to us His supernatural strength to help us live above our sin.

He can even help us overcome sin's consequences in our marital relationships. He can give husbands the same tender love and unselfish consideration that Adam had for Eve before they sinned. He can give wives the same encouraging helpfulness and sweet submissiveness that Eve had toward Adam before the Fall. In other words, the honeymoon can begin again. But we must first receive Jesus Christ as Savior from sin. There is no hope for a marital relationship to become all it can be until both husband and wife have the assurance of forgiveness and acceptance by God. That assurance can only be experienced when we have acknowledged our sin and placed our trust in Jesus Christ's perfect sacrifice on Calvary for deliverance from the eternal condemnation which our sin deserves.

If you have any doubt, settle it now. In all earnestness and sincerity, pray something like this: "Lord, I acknowledge my sin to you. I believe that Jesus Christ died to deliver me from sin's guilt, sin's penalty and sin's control of my life. I here and now place my trust in Him as my personal Savior from sin and receive Him into my life. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for coming into my life and forgiving my sin." When you have made that decision, the way is clear for God to fill your heart with His tenderness and love, take away your selfishness and stubbornness, and give you a self-sacrificing concern for the needs of your mate. And you may yet enjoy a little taste of paradise.

You know, I almost deleted that last section, because it's so cliche, so "modern church." But it's still true, and the author was talented enough that he wove his paragraphs into each other. I didn't want to ruin that. I actually love this guy's writing. He tells it like it is... or was, or whatever. (<- shameless Disney quote)

It's actually from the same guy who told the story linked in the post below this one. I love these stories. Stories are great when they have heroes you admire, Themes you identify with, and situations you can (somewhat) relate to. I won't stretch that, I promise; I know my story, and I know these stories (well enough), and I realize mine is very different in some ways. But I don't notice the differences... I notice the similarities, the "connecting points."

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that. Here's the link for any of you who could go for some more good and great stuff:

some good and great stories

Goodbye for now. I'll probly post again in like 6 minutes... ;)