moon-bathing

about this blog
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in contrast with my other blogs, this one's for more introspective \ personal stuff. if you read this, you're most likely a close friend of mine. welcome! =)

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Credits: C. S. Lewis
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decoding Christianese

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Tuesday, December 04, 2007

i don't even know

i always knew, intuitively and now experientially, that embracing romance would wreak havoc on my mind. it's tearing my life apart, too, but that's different because my life needs to be torn down. i need room to build something new, something i can fully own.

dang tangents. as i was saying: romance wreaking havoc. i am verimuch not looking forward to rearranging my values. why should any man have to choose between reason and emotion? where's the potential for integration here? it's a both-and!!

another theme of this transition period, and, i'm sure, of the following chapter as well: "life is messy." and it only gets worse and worse the more you strive. more and more complexity, more and more responsibility; more and more work to do. more kinds of work to do, even. more important work to do.

and this is what i asked Him for, isn't it? "tell me what to do. give me something to do. this is how isaiah can best love You: by being obedient. amen." such an admirable, naive prayer. what have i gotten myself into. i don't even know.

i don't even know.

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