moon-bathing

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in contrast with my other blogs, this one's for more introspective \ personal stuff. if you read this, you're most likely a close friend of mine. welcome! =)

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Monday, November 27, 2006

autokrator

today's epiphany begins with the affirmation that the human person is ridiculously complex.

i've spoken in earlier posts about the holistic nature of the person, especially as that idea contrasts with Greek philosophy's dualism and the Enlightenment Project's reductionism/deconstructionism. but let's not forget how complicated, how dynamic, how malleable, a person can be.

i think you understand how true this is, and how profound that truth is. how long would it take for you to comprehensively explain yourself?

"well, that depends on what exactly i'm explaining..."

everything about who you are, leaving out no detail or explanation, so that when you were finished, your audience would have absolutely no questions left to ask, no matter how intelligent or how much time they had to think about it.

"that's preposterous. can't be done!"

exactly. moving on, then.

given the complexity of the human person, i have to ask... just what does it mean that i am independent? what in the world am i saying when i speak these words: "i decided to ________." ?! there are dozens of influences guiding every decision i make! it would take days to fully explain why i decided to lock my door today. it isn't just a question of what i wanted to protect... it's a question of why i wanted to protect those things. and who or what taught me the importance of doing so? how did i learn that certain things are mine and other things aren't? do the multiple thefts that occurred on campus last year have anything to do with it? does it matter that some of my things can be replaced, and others can't?

nothing is as simple as it seems, it seems. ;)

so: to claim that i am in charge of myself, what does that look like? let's try this analogy. picture a vast medieval kingdom, wherein the monarch has just passed away suddenly (assassination is suspected), and there are 7 lords, each ruling over a particular fiefdom thingy. all seven of these wish to rule the kingdom, and each one has a different way of accomplishing this goal. they each have a different motive.

to complicate things: you are the king's child, only 10 years old, rightful heir to the throne, and yet in danger of being assassinated just as your father was. you know the first thing about ruling as monarch... but that's all you know. the first thing. and now you have not only a kingdom to rule, and a shady death to evade, but seven fiefdoms to 'reconquer.' you have some knowledge of each fiefdom thingy, but your informants give you mixed information so that it's difficult to determine just who's right about who, and to what degree.

every person who says, "i am in charge of myself," is that royal child, even if they have no knowledge of their dire situation.

~ ~ ~

autocracy is anarchy in disguise, even from itself, so that when it looks in the mirror it can fool itself into thinking it has authority, when in actuality it is simply waiting to be assassinated.

to be a disciplined person is not to be in charge of yourself; it is to be in submission to some higher power which overrules your pitiful, fragmented self-government. to be disciplined is to naturally go against your own will in moments where the self is in opposition to the higher authority.

who called all the shots in your kingdom today? who did you have to answer to? when did you-- as an imperfect, flawed being-- go against your nature, even when you didn't have to?

~ ~ ~

"God wants us to become the kinds of persons whom He can trust to do whatever we want." - Bill Dogterom, University Pastor at VU

"Jesus Christ is LORD." - the most ancient confession and doctrine of the Christian Church, born in the time of 'Lord' Caesar's ultimate authority

1 Comments:

Galt-In-Da-Box said...: Hmmm...Interesting.
The greatest Authority is God's Word. It commanded the universe into existence, raised the dead, made the lame to walk again and causes blind men to see whenever and wherever they choose to believe It. It takes the place of the physically-absent Christ and is the Believer's only rule of faith and practice.; 3:16 PM